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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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14-11-2017, 10:04 PM
461

Re: Jokes for blokes

A middle-aged man went to his doctor and asks for a prescription of the strongest Viagra available because he had got two young nymphomaniacs staying at his house for the weekend.

Later that week he went back to the doctor and asked for painkillers.

"What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "Is your penis in that much pain?"

"No," said the man. "It's for my wrists - the girls never showed up."
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16-11-2017, 12:56 AM
462

Re: Jokes for blokes

Canesten

Vagisil

Vagazzles

Katie Price's bucket list

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Mexico
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17-11-2017, 08:23 AM
463

Re: Jokes for blokes

Two young kids, a boy and a girl, are out behind the barn. The boy drops his trousers and says to the girl. "Look what I have, I'll bet you wish you had one of these"
The girl lifts her dress, drops her knickers and says, "Big deal. When you have one of these, you can get all of those you want,"
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18-11-2017, 01:03 AM
464

Re: Jokes for blokes

Concerned about his failing manhood, a farmer went to the local doctor for help. The doctor gave him a small container of Viagra and told him to take no more than one a day.

Back home, the farmer thought he'd try the medication on his stud horse first. The horse swallowed the pill, jumped out of his stall, kicked the side of the barn over and ran off down the road.

"Those pills are too strong for me," the farmer thought, and poured the rest into his well.

Later, when the doctor came to check on him, the farmer told how he had disposed of the medication.

"Heavens," exclaimed the doctor. "You haven't drunk any of the well water, have you?"

"No," said the farmer. "We can't get the pump handle down."
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west wales
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20-11-2017, 07:13 PM
465

Re: Jokes for blokes

This guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it." The weekend goes by and on Monday morning the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?" The guy replies, "Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice (a muscle pain reliever). The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your "willy". The skin is way too sensitive." The guy says, "It's not for my "willy", it's for my arm." Pharmacist says, "What?? What happened?" Guy replies, "Well... I drank the whole bottle of your potion." Pharmacist says, "And..." Guy replies, "The girls never showed up!"
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20-11-2017, 07:21 PM
466

Re: Jokes for blokes

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive woman sitting by herself and asks, “May I buy you a cocktail?”
"No thank you," she replies, "Alcohol is bad for my legs."
"Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
"No, they spread."
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23-11-2017, 01:09 AM
467

Re: Jokes for blokes

On his first day working in a sex shop, a young man was left alone for the afternoon while his boss went out. The man was nervous about dealing with customers' questions, but his boss assured him he would be fine.

The first customer was an elderly white lady.
"How much for the white vibrator?" she asked.
"£30," he replied.
"How much for the black one?"
"Same price, £30."
"Right," she said, "I think I'll take the black one; I've never had a black one before." And she paid the money and left.

Shortly afterwards an elderly black lady came in.
"How much for the black vibrator?" she asked.
"£30," he replied.
"How much for the white one?"
"Same price, £30."
"Right," she said, "Hmmm, I think I'll take the white one; I've never had a white one before." And she paid the money and left.

An hour later a young blonde woman came in and asked, "How much are your vibrators?"
"£30 for the white one and £30 for the black one," he replied.
"Hmmm," she said, "And how much for the tartan one on the shelf?"
The young man replied, "Well, that is a very special vibrator and will cost you £250."
The blonde thought for a moment and said, "OK, I'll take the tartan one."
And she paid the money and left.

Finally, the boss returned.
"How did you get on today?" he asked.
"Great," the young man replied. "I sold one black vibrator and one white vibrator... and I sold your thermos flask for £250!"
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23-11-2017, 02:38 PM
468

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by JBR ->
On his first day working in a sex shop, a young man was left alone for the afternoon while his boss went out. The man was nervous about dealing with customers' questions, but his boss assured him he would be fine.

The first customer was an elderly white lady.
"How much for the white vibrator?" she asked.
"£30," he replied.
"How much for the black one?"
"Same price, £30."
"Right," she said, "I think I'll take the black one; I've never had a black one before." And she paid the money and left.

Shortly afterwards an elderly black lady came in.
"How much for the black vibrator?" she asked.
"£30," he replied.
"How much for the white one?"
"Same price, £30."
"Right," she said, "Hmmm, I think I'll take the white one; I've never had a white one before." And she paid the money and left.

An hour later a young blonde woman came in and asked, "How much are your vibrators?"
"£30 for the white one and £30 for the black one," he replied.
"Hmmm," she said, "And how much for the tartan one on the shelf?"
The young man replied, "Well, that is a very special vibrator and will cost you £250."
The blonde thought for a moment and said, "OK, I'll take the tartan one."
And she paid the money and left.

Finally, the boss returned.
"How did you get on today?" he asked.
"Great," the young man replied. "I sold one black vibrator and one white vibrator... and I sold your thermos flask for £250!"
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JBR
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JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
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24-11-2017, 10:29 PM
469

Re: Jokes for blokes

What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater?
An armadildo.

A farmer in Devon has successfully grown a field of dildos
Unfortunately, he's having trouble with squatters.
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24-11-2017, 11:13 PM
470

Re: Jokes for blokes

Brilliant - keep them coming
 
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