07-01-2017, 09:47 AM
42
Re: Hiding friendships
Originally Posted by tarantula
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If you can't be honest with your partner about everything there is no point in having a relationship. My husband and I tell it like it is even if the truth is uncomfortable.
My experience of men who want to be friends, but keep it from their wives, is that they are lying to both of us because they expect more than friendship from me and then tell their wives they are meeting Tom Dick or Harry when they intend to spend time with me.
You would be amazed at how many men have wives that don't understand them
I have some sympathy when people have very jealous partners, but if they didn't establish that before they got involved with them, they have nobody to blame but themselves.
07-01-2017, 10:11 AM
43
Re: Hiding friendships
Originally Posted by Twink55
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I am tempted to agree with Tarantula on this. One thing I dislike is a liar, which at some point your partner will be if he/she has a secret friend. My experience of men who want to be friends, but keep it from their wives, is that they are lying to both of us because they expect more than friendship from me and then tell their wives they are meeting Tom Dick or Harry when they intend to spend time with me.
You would be amazed at how many men have wives that don't understand them
I have some sympathy when people have very jealous partners, but if they didn't establish that before they got involved with them, they have nobody to blame but themselves.
Couldn't agree more with you Twink, that's how I feel too.
07-01-2017, 10:32 AM
44
Re: Hiding friendships
To keep a secret friendship is wrong if you are married , if it's kept secret then there is a reason . Marriage / relationship is being open and honest with each other . If the relationship is fulfilling there would be no need , for what are they hiding it for ?07-01-2017, 11:01 AM
45
Re: Hiding friendships
Originally Posted by Artangel
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Julie, l think it might if it happened in reality! You would question why he was hiding it from you, if it was innocent?
I'm not insecure in my trust I trust completely, as does he.
All marriages are different no one is right or wrong I just know what works for us, I wouldn't say anyone else should copy us or they are wrong.
07-01-2017, 01:50 PM
46
Re: Hiding friendships
I can sort of see what Julie means ...... it's all a matter of degree.The degree of how much you trust each other, so don't feel threatened or that it compromises or endangers your own relationship.
From what you've said Julie it doesn't sound like yours are secret.
You both know you have other separate friendships.
I don't view that as a bad thing. It can suggest a respect for each other's freedom and space.
Some posts on here sound more like when one party feels threatened by another relationship .. which isn't quite the same thing.
07-01-2017, 01:59 PM
47
Re: Hiding friendships
I suppose it's about what works for you or both of you if you are in a partnership.Personally for me it wouldn't bother me if my partner/husband had other friends I didn't know about.
My friend is having a similar problem, where his partner has got chatting to someone on another forum (won't mention the name) but it has been going on for nearly 2 years, he found out over Christmas. They have met up secretly a couple of times and text quite a bit, she says there is nothing sexual happening, he feels betrayed/devasted that she couldn't be open about it, and is now trying to sort out his feelings.
07-01-2017, 02:48 PM
48
Re: Hiding friendships
Not so much secret and I did not watch the program but I sort of going through it now. A very dear and close friend has found herself a boy friend. He was envious,nay almost jealous regarding our friendship. It has taken time but we are getting there. Just because she has my car and takes me shopping,just because I sometimes drop in to say hello and have a coffee does not mean I`m screwing her.
07-01-2017, 02:55 PM
49
Re: Hiding friendships
Originally Posted by carol
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If my husband had friendships I knew nothing about with women - that he never talked about and kept secret from me, I wouldn't like it!! There wouldn't be a very nice atmosphere in our house if I found out!
07-01-2017, 03:03 PM
50
Re: Hiding friendships
I'd wonder too, I'd be a liar to say otherwise ... but I'd have to do a bit of honest self analysis and ponder my relationship to see why he would feel the need in the first place.I'd try not to leap to perhaps unfounded suspicions and feel betrayed when it might just be something innocuous.
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