Join for free
Page 2 of 4 < 1 2 3 4 >
Cosmos's Avatar
Cosmos
Senior Member
Cosmos is offline
UK
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 433
Cosmos is female  Cosmos has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
14-02-2018, 11:04 PM
11

Re: Cruel

Originally Posted by carol ->
I would query the people who run the home about the 'No visitors' rule.

It seems unduly cruel to me.


that is correct carol, my father was put into a home last year, and they wont allow visitors, for a while, as its too upsetting for them, and their visitors....my poor mum went 4 weeks after, and my dad, wanted to go home with her, it upset them both....they are in their 90s.......
Bruce's Avatar
Bruce
Chatterbox
Bruce is offline
Wollongong, Australia
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 15,218
Bruce is male  Bruce has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
14-02-2018, 11:05 PM
12

Re: Cruel

I dread the thought of having to go into a nursing home and shall be doing all I can to stay in my own home.

Fortunately the commonwealth government is of the same mind as keeping old people in their own home is cheaper than keeping them in care so there are lots of grants and ongoing services toward this end.

https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/servic...-care-packages

First job will undoubtedly be to replace the entry step(s) front and back with a ramp. Fortunately I am only in my 70s now so that will be a way off thank god (bless his noodly appendages).
Cosmos's Avatar
Cosmos
Senior Member
Cosmos is offline
UK
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 433
Cosmos is female  Cosmos has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
14-02-2018, 11:08 PM
13

Re: Cruel

not if you have dementia bruce, there is no way, you can stay in your own home alone, My mum looked after my dad for 10 yrs, but in the end , she just couldnt handle him.....its very sad, they have been together 75 yrs........
Bruce's Avatar
Bruce
Chatterbox
Bruce is offline
Wollongong, Australia
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 15,218
Bruce is male  Bruce has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
14-02-2018, 11:10 PM
14

Re: Cruel

Originally Posted by Cosmos ->
not if you have dementia bruce, there is no way, you can stay in your own home alone, My mum looked after my dad for 10 yrs, but in the end , she just couldnt handle him.....its very sad, they have been together 75 yrs........
If I have dementia I won't care.
Surfermom's Avatar
Surfermom
Chatterbox
Surfermom is offline
United States
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 6,235
Surfermom is female  Surfermom has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-02-2018, 12:16 AM
15

Re: Cruel

It is never an easy decision and every situation is different. I hope that the decision to delay visitation is always based on what is best for the patient and family, and not the convenience of the staff.

Roxy, I know this is an extraordinarily difficult transition for you an your mother, and I wish you and your mom well. I hope she settles in smoothly.
susan m's Avatar
susan m
Senior Member
susan m is offline
DORSET UK
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 4,935
susan m is female  susan m has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-02-2018, 09:19 AM
16

Re: Cruel

Friend L has just this week taken her mum to a home , mum just not safe alone anymore . The girls all took her together had a lovely family meal then said they would see her soon . For one week it's advised not to visit but this weekend they are all going for another family meal in the home . After this weekend they can visit whenever .

Mum has reached a stage where it's dangerous to be alone now , the girls work full time and can't be there 24 hours a day and the carers were only there for half an hour .

The home is costing £4250 a month , her house is being sold to cover the costs , of course this will only last about 3/4 yrs .

They are feeling guilty about this , but we know it's the best thing for the lady .
tarantula
Chatterbox
tarantula is offline
UK
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 9,359
tarantula is female  tarantula has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-02-2018, 09:23 AM
17

Re: Cruel

Our mother went into a care home because she couldn't look after herself properly as dementia was setting in. There was no way any of her children, could or would, have looked after her. She had the best care home money could buy, the staff looked after her well. She was checked up upon by my sister on a regular basis. I did visit her once and was satisfied she was getting good care. Fortunately for her, and us, she died within a year of being put into the home, which was a relief to us all. If that sounds harsh, all I can say is, you hadn't met my mother.
carol's Avatar
carol
Chatterbox
carol is offline
Derbyshire.
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 11,869
carol is female  carol has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-02-2018, 09:36 AM
18

Re: Cruel

My mum suffered from Alzheimers and had to be admitted to a care home.
No way would I have left her for 3 days - let alone 3 weeks. During her settling in period I visited her every day and often took her a ride out in the car.

Many times when I arrived she was wandering about looking lost or sat in a chair crying. I was glad I was able to be there to offer comfort.
Roxy's Avatar
Roxy
Chatterbox
Roxy is offline
Caithness.
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 7,592
Roxy is female  Roxy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-02-2018, 11:49 AM
19

Re: Cruel

Originally Posted by Surfermom ->
It is never an easy decision and every situation is different. I hope that the decision to delay visitation is always based on what is best for the patient and family, and not the convenience of the staff.

Roxy, I know this is an extraordinarily difficult transition for you an your mother, and I wish you and your mom well. I hope she settles in smoothly.
Thanks SM She was a bit unsettled for a couple of days but she's fine now. She loves company and was living on her own for several years since Dad died. I can't see her too often as I live most of the year with my partner up north and mum is in Perth, 230 miles south, but both of my kids will visit often, and I talk to her on the phone. Thanks for asking..
susiejaeger's Avatar
susiejaeger
Chatterbox
susiejaeger is offline
Essex, UK
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 18,871
susiejaeger is female  susiejaeger has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-02-2018, 11:56 AM
20

Re: Cruel

We had to put our Mum in a Home, as she really had bad Dementia and didn't know what she was doing or where she was, Carers used to come and Mum would chuck them out of the House. Mum could not do anything for herself. When Mum did go into the Home we were told not to visit for 3 days so that they can settle her in. Once she was there, she was very happy and well looked after.
 
Page 2 of 4 < 1 2 3 4 >

Thread Tools


© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.