Re: I'm really tired of counting calories
Thank you, Realist, I needed to hear all of that and I appreciate you taking the time to write it all out. It definitely makes sense to me!
I haven't counted calories in several days now. And I got on the scale this morning, totally expecting to see that I've gained a little weight. But, to my amazement, I'm still where I was when I stopped counting. I haven't lost anymore weight, but I haven't gained anymore, either. And I've been eating when I'm hungry and forgetting about food when I'm not. Yesterday I made a nice risotto with shrimp, fresh spinach, diced tomatoes, onions, mushrooms and corn. Had a small plate of that and it was quite filling, I didn't need anymore and stuck with my general rule of "don't eat until you're full; eat until you're no longer hungry."
But it took a long time and a lot of struggling to inherit that mindset.
See, I grew up in one of those families where we had to eat everything on our plates before we could get up from the table. And I carried that into adulthood. I was never fat as a child, but once I hit about mid 20's, that's when I started gaining and the struggles with my weight began. I still had it stuck in my head that I must eat everything on my plate. So no matter how big or small the plate of food was, I would continue eating until it was gone, whether I was full or not. I must say that was one of my hardest habits to break - that when I was full, just push the rest away. Very difficult indeed, but I finally got past that and when I'm full, or feeling close to full, I stop. Finally breaking that mentality has helped me a lot. I had to overcome that in order for
any weight loss regime to work.
I don't do actual 'diets' and I don't believe in wasting money on slimming clubs, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't try it in the past. I went to Weight Watchers. I would find and try this diet and that diet. And yes, they worked... temporarily. As soon as I stopped the diets, I'd gain everything back, and then some. I honestly believe that dieting is what made me fat, along with plain old fashioned overeating.
I also went through a period of starvation. My doctor told me I was borderline anorexic. I starved my body for so long that food literally made me ill anytime I'd try and eat. Just eating a half of a sandwich was a struggle and my friends told me I was so skinny that I looked ill and that they were ready to hold me down and
make me eat. My sister was opposite; she struggled with bulimia for many years. So both of us struggled with eating disorders in our 20's and while I can't lay the entire blame at my parents' doorstep, I *do* believe they instilled a dangerous mindset into us - eating on schedules at only certain times of the day, making us finish everything in front of us whether we wanted it or not, etc etc etc. It surely didn't help. And that's why, ever since my son was little, I've always told him, "If you're full, you don't have to eat anymore" regardless of how much was still left on his plate. And when he was very young, I was actually concerned about him because he never ate much. He'd eat a small amount, then want to go play. And because I never made him sit there and finish every morsel, I was concerned he wasn't eating enough.
You know what his pediatrician told me? He said, "Don't worry about it. He's getting what he needs."
So I stopped worrying about it and continued on with letting him push his plate away when he said he was full and to this day he eats when he's hungry and only eats as much as he needs. He's not overweight, he's not underweight, he's a healthy 17 year old kid. And I'm glad because I didn't want him to grow up struggling with food the way I did. I've been obsessed with my weight since my teens. And I'm damn tried of it and don't want to carry that obsession to my grave. I want to focus on life... not how much I weigh.