Re: Can You Hear me Mother?
What A carry on”
The Toffee Stall was a magnet for the ‘Cotton Mill Girls’ who came round. They were the prettiest girls you ever did see, and with such spirit. In their lunch time there was a lot of banter back and forth
Hi’ya Lassies. said ‘Toffee’ as two girls approached, both smoking. One said “Let’s have some of that Cough Toffee; I’ve got a really bad cough! “If you stopped smoking like a chimney pot, that cough would clear up” he commented.
“You shut your bloody mouth and mind your own business” was the curt reply. “Ladies! Please, ” he reprimanded.
“No, listen love, what you need is your chest rubbing with a ‘strange hand’ and Goose Grease”. Offering up his hand “Here’s my hand and I've got the Goose Grease as well. “ Shut up you silly Buger” the girl said “You would not be saying that if our Tom was here” “Your Tom! Ha! He’s worse than me. Salt of the earth he is, when is he coming home” “This year sometime, now the War is nearly over ” she said hopefully. “That Bloody Croat” said Arthur, “He’s worse than ‘Kaiser Bill’, have you seen what he’s done to ‘Ancoats’? Half the street is gone. Folk we knew have been killed. It is unbearable. I could weep”
Then, holding up aloft the pincers he said angrily “If I get my hands on that swine I would cut the other one off” Snip! Snip! Snip! He said waving the pincers in the air. “What”? Said the girls… Leaning over the stall, and cupping his hands over his mouth he whispered something to them. They fell about laughing. “Stop that! You’re making that poor girl embarrassed” said one girl, looking at me. “Nonsense, you haven’t heard what her mother said to the Coal Man” when he was trying to diddle her out of a bag of coal .Her Mother swears like a trouper if you cross her, ..Doesn't she Princess”? He said, turning to Stella, who Inodded. “She’s not a bit like her Mum, are you Princess? I just smiled; I had no intention of copying such behaviour. “Let’s have a sing song”, said he
Oh! Oh! Antonio
He’s gone away,
Left me all alone io
All on my own io
I’d like to see him
With his New Sweet Heart
And, up will go Antonio
And his ‘Ice Cream Cart’.
List to me while I tell you
Of the Spaniard who blighted my life
Etc etc
Lots of people had now joined in and there was much clapping.
“Listen girls I told Tom I would look after you so ..Best Frocks on and we will go out one evening! You have my word that it will be only one Drink “ They looked at each other then said “OK only one drink mind.. OK. Next week then. .Ta Ra” and off they went still laughing.
When his favourite girls called he would sing; “If you were the only Girl in the world” and say “Come round here and give us a kiss” “Don’t be a cheeky monkey” they would say or “Shut up you silly old goat” and turning to me in mock horror he’d say“ Did you hear that! ..Me who’s fit as a fiddle on Fynnon's Salts! You too could have a body like mine or your money back in Seven Days ” “I’d get your money Back” said one “It hasn't worked.
“How does your wife put up with you”? Said another
“My wife is the ‘Salt of the Earth’ and I would not swap her for all the Tea in China. She’s not one of your fancy pieces all tarted up with all that muck on her face, and she has my meal on the table when I get home”. “That’s where you like her slave in the Kitchen all day”
“No, she is a good member of the community and does Charity Work too”.
“Well, I don’t’ know what she sees in you, with a face like that”
“Oh! Its insults now is it, be like that then. I’ll have you know lots of ladies fancy me” My face is very masculine very handsome”
“Give over. Have you looked in the mirror lately” one asked.
“Stop teasing him. She doesn't mean it Toffee” Laughing, She said “Course not, ” Ta Ra, See Ya.
“Now Princess” you go for lunch and tell Sam I’m having double Steak Pudding and Chips. “Would you like a sweet” Stella asked “No, Ta but some bread please”
In the Cozy Café
“Hello Sunshine” said Sam “What would you like today? “ Could I please have Steak Pie and Chips” Stella said. He replied, smiling, “I have saved you your favourite,.. Trifle”
“And, I want another lovely smile for saving it especially for you”. She was most happy to oblige.
Stella was then presented with an enormous plate of food. “I don’t know where she puts it all” said Sam’s assistant “She is not the size of two penny-worth of copper”
Sam said“She’s going to break someone’s heart one of these days! Wish it was mine!..... Don’t tell the wife”.
When Stella returned with Toffee’s Lunch, he was in deep conversation with the Market Superintendent ‘Jim’.
“For God’s sake, ” he was saying “There’s a Bloody War is just over We could all get killed any minute with those Doodle Bugs that Hitler’s sending over”.
“It is coming to something when I can’t sing rousing Army Songs, because Lady Muck has reported me. She’s ‘All fur Coat and no knickers.” said he indignantly!” “ I knew her when she had nought”
Now! Now! Come on ...”Roll Me Over” and “Auntie Mary had a Canary” are a bit much. There are youngsters passing. “Rubbish! Five year olds sing it on the School Bus. I heard them”! Not your version Arthur”
“Now! Please keep it down!” and stop singing. “Are you having it? Are you having it? It’ll do you good! It’ll make you sing”……. “Oh! For crying out loud, what’s wrong with that? Said Arthur... “Mrs. Kershaw thinks its offensive, ” said the Superintendent “But does it make You sing, Jim”? Arthur said, winking at him. “Never you mind” he said laughing.
Having heard the whole conversation stella had to stop herself from laughing. “Right then I’ll be off, ” said Super. Raising his eyes to Heaven saying, “What can you do with him”?
Turning to Stella, Arthur said ““Just you wait till that Silly Cow walks passed here again; I've got a nice song I want to sing to her”
True to his word when she next walked by, with her nose in the air, he loudly sang, “ Mademoiselle From Armentieres parley voo? She hasn't been kissed in forty years ,…………
The look of disgust and hate she gave him!, … we had to contain our laughter ……………
After lunch he seemed to get renewed vigour and we were treated to;
“Whistle While You Work, and Kiss me Good Night Sergeant Major” then
“Hang out the Washing on the Siegfried Line” and something rude about ‘They all fell over a precipice’…… ‘Not quite sure what they were doing on the Precipice?
To Stella it was much more entertaining than the Cinema or Radio, and everyone was very kind to me. The Jewish community was especially kind and if someone had not done any Trade they would all club together and give enough money to get Home and have a Meal.
Stella had always been impressed, with people that make sacrifices for their families, and their beliefs, without a thought of any reward or praise. She knew that they get their own reward, knowing that they have done their best for everyone during their lifetime.
By Philomena