Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Just looking down the forum home page, would you believe it’s nearly six months since the trash can was scrapped? I just goes to prove that folks can get along together without slicing chunks off one another.


Ode to the trash can.

The day of reckoning came in November 2016
It was so swift that it was hardly seen
The shutters pulled down and the blood pressures lowered
The slagging had ceased and peace was restored
The inmates were rampant and running amok
So stricter measures had to be took
Old lads were shouting and letting off steam
Old ladies fainting and starting to scream
I ended up there once or twice
All my own fault as I took bad advice
I’m really not sorry to see it gone
So I’m back in the mainstream where I belong.
It was a good idea, done in good faith
Then it became bitter, far too much hate.
I’m happy to know as I sit on my rump
That the trash can is buried deep in the dump.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Ah ya a midstream man then - ever had to pass the midstream urine test??

used to be called " takin the piss with clean hands" OR "when ya takin the piss keep ya hands clean"

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Jem- greetings.
My Gaelic is rubbish, but this may apply

1. Cár chóra domsa ná duitse é a dhéanamh

Gumbud-greetings

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.


A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.


A couple of days later, the doctor met Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'


Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''


The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Wish I had a hot mamma, just what I need in this weather.

My Gaelic is terrible RJ, I barley knew that ” Pog mo…' meant ‘Kiss my…”

Keep the home fires burning, it’s bloody freezing here today, I’ve lit the fire again as that central heating always gives me a headache when it’s on for too long. Coal is now 22 euros a bag, never thought I’d see the day, and it’s artificial coal if you know what I mean, neat little nuggets as if they were pressed out by machine, they leave no cinders which were always handy for putting on the fire in the late evening to keep it aglow.
I remember the real jet black shiny coal, and as a boy going down to the coal depot with me little sack bag and watch the man weigh out a stone of coal for a shilling, a shocking price to pay at that time. We also burned turf then and as my dad was in hospital long term we got two bags of the stuff for sixpence, you had to make your own delivery arrangements so the brother and me made a little boxcar specially for that purpose, Every Friday after school the pair of us collected the stuff from the local turf depot, two four stone bags, we’d be knackered when we got home. Great heat from turf but very messy.

Scribblers scribblers.

’Tis only rhyme with no ill intent
Nothing twisted nor bent
To be taken with a pinch of salt
While sipping down your double malt
Nothing sneaky even suggested
And certainly not to be digested.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

A bit of rhyming verse is required
Nothing fancy, think like a child
Poetry is beset with snobbery
Words are pinched, it’s daylight robbery
Now I’m not saying I am as white as snow
I’ve by turns been villain then hero
Anyway, I write when inspired
Deep wise thoughts from this man, retired


I’ve just had an engaging thought
Of which I can now fully report
I have had a word buzzing around my brain
It comes and goes, now it’s gone again
Cornucopia, no that’s all goats & Greek,
This word is playing hide and seek,
Cornucopia, too late, it‘s over

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

A true masterpiece of prose RJ and always appreciated but now back to the gene pool which has it's own problems

"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."

or " a pool and his pee are soon parted"?

a lifeguard and his toilet break

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I'm glad the geezer is Ok, when he said he needed a 5 minute Bathroom Break, I was concerned he had a Prostrate Problem.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Or, he needed a Number Two.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

(Jem My Gaelic is terrible RJ, I barley knew that ” Pog mo…' meant ‘Kiss my…”)

Ah so, ah so!

I knew we'd get to the bottom of this.

groan

It wasn't cornucopia, the word I was trying to remember last night. I remembered it today , but it's not THE word I'm looking for.
CORNUCOPIA is something to do "A time of plenty" (roughly)
also hairy goats horns. I kid you not.

Sorry if I am vague today. My usual scriptwriter is on paternity leave so I had to let him go .

By pure chance I managed to save my altoego's (can't spell it) copies of my (and his) entire archive of my writing , from ARCHIE my late cat's diary, Uncle Vivian yarns, Confessions of a retired Shopkeeper et al..

Is it too early for a wee dram.?