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09-08-2017, 09:29 AM
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Re: Jokes for blokes

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09-08-2017, 11:21 PM
292

Re: Jokes for blokes

One for certain people on here

Have you heard about the new sex position? It's called The Plumber.

You both stay in all day and no-one comes!
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10-08-2017, 10:36 PM
293

Re: Jokes for blokes

A woman was in a coma. Two nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath.

One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her between the legs.

They went to the husband in the waiting room and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. He finally agreed and went to his wife's room.

After a few minutes, the woman's monitor flatlined: no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran into the room.

"What happened?"

The husband shrugged. "I guess she choked."
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11-08-2017, 10:43 AM
294

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by JBR ->
One for certain people on here

Have you heard about the new sex position? It's called The Plumber.

You both stay in all day and no-one comes!
I have no idea what you mean.
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12-08-2017, 12:15 AM
295

Re: Jokes for blokes

While making love, a man says, "Darling, let's do 68!"

"Sixty-eight? What's that?"

"You do it to me and I'll owe you one."
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13-08-2017, 12:14 AM
296

Re: Jokes for blokes

A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a bridal shop and asks for a white dress.

"You can't wear white," the sales clerk reminds her, "you've been married three times already."

"Of course I can," says the bride, "I'm a virgin."

"Impossible," says the sales clerk.

"Unfortunately not," the bride explains.
"My first husband was a psychologist. All he wanted to do was talk about it.
My second husband was a gynaecologist. All he wanted to do was look at it.
My third husband was a stamp collector... God, I miss him."
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15-08-2017, 12:17 AM
297

Re: Jokes for blokes

A daily newspaper surveyed its male readers to see what exactly each enjoyed from having oral sex performed on them.
Seven percent said they most enjoyed the physical sensation.
Five percent confessed that their chief enjoyment came from the sense of domination.
A staggering 88 percent said that they really enjoyed the peace and quiet.
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15-08-2017, 09:10 PM
298

Re: Jokes for blokes

A woman returned home from the doctors crying her eyes out.
Her husband all concerned asked "What's the matter?"
"The doctor says we can't have sex for two weeks" she sobbed
"Why?" replied her husband
"Because he's going on holiday" she replied
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16-08-2017, 11:52 AM
299

Re: Jokes for blokes

At a wedding in Glasgow I whispered to a guy next to me,
"Isn't the bride a right ugly dog"
"Do you mind. That's my daughter you're talking about!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her father''...
"I'm not . . . I'm her mother.
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17-08-2017, 12:11 AM
300

Re: Jokes for blokes

When his date asked him to perform cunnilingus on her, Keith's smooth answer was, "Only if I get a miner's lamp and a canary."

The relationship didn't last too long after that.
 
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