Did you look after your parents ?

I have to say I did not .
Always living overseas I didn't care for my parents .
I alway rang them and visited them every year but as they got older I did very little .
They did come out to visit me twice and they loved that but then I remarried and stayed overseas .
My mother became increasingly unwell and my father was her carer .
When my mother died I took my father to stay with me in winter and he came out to stay with us in winter for the remaining years of his life .
But he was lonely despite the fact that my brother lived with him .
And I put caring for my husband before him
And now
I wish I had cared for them more but they were prickly and difficult and childhood emotions run deep .
I don't thing my children will care for me .
I don't expect them too they have their own lives .
I hope that we shall be able to look after ourselves until the end .
My husband has children but they barely remember his birthday .
Life is fleeting .

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

yes and I still do. My Dad lived to 85 and died 10 years ago. Since then Ive looked after my Mum while she was living in her own home until 18 months ago when she went into care because she had so many falls at home. She will soon be 94 and I visit her every other day.

In the 10 years that she lived alone I did all her shopping, hospital, dentist, hair appointments. I picked her up on Friday afternoons and she would stay with us for the weekend.

She is in a very good care home and the staff love her and she has a big, bright, cozy room. I dont feel I can do more for her than I do but I’m sure if the tables were turned she would do the same for me.

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

My mum is still alive, still more or less independent and we help her. She has arthritis and heart problems but doesn't need care yet although I worry a lot about her.

My dad died when I was young. He was a lot older than my mum and more like a grandad's age when I was born. He was still getting around and active until a couple of months before he died.

Loneliness is such an issue for elderly parents. Their friends die and it's so much harder to see those who are still alive as they may be living far away or be too sick to even chat on the phone. The phone is my mum's lifeline and I've taught her to skype and given her a tablet so she can go online. One grandson helped her set her mobile phone up so the numbers don't all disappear. OH's parents have both died. I helped his mum a lot after his breakdown. Had to get care for her from family (who took turns), but at least she didn't have to go into a home.

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

That's so heartwarming. Your mum must be lovely.

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

I didn't look after my parents, though I lived next door. My father was 13 years older than my mother, and died when he was 68, but she looked after him. My mother died aged 80. and up till the last few moths of her life, managed on her own, and I was there for her when she needed me.
I'm 82 next month, and so far am fit as a fiddle, but I have 3 daughters living near by, who will no doubt look after me when and if the time comes.

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

Yes both parents and grandparents they all came to us when they were unable to take care of themselves. It was a privilege and an honour to do it and cured many of my childhood bad memories at the same time.

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

No I did not ,my Dad had a heart attack and died in hospital.my Mum had Cancer but my sister lived with her and took care of her,for a time I was OK as my sister was at work,but it was difficult as I had a baby and Mum got upset if he cried or if he was crawling aoround while we were ,so I had to try to visit while he slept,I also had a son coming home from school for lunch.Later on when Mum went into Hospital I would walk there to see her ,parking the sleepijg baby in the pram uner her war window,I dont know what I could have done if anyone had tried take him,no way could I have got down in time to stop them,but luckily no one did [ babies /children were not allowed on the waeds those days 40 + yrs ago]

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

No we had Carers in and I used to go and visit my Mum 3 times a week, also my Sister did, but then she got to bad with Dementia that she had to go into a Home as we could not cope with her any more.

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

yes I do, my Dad would be lost without me, he needs me, especially now my beautiful Mum has passed away, she was 81 when she died. I did a lot for them both but I felt better about things because they both had each other. Now Dad is alone I visit him 6 days a week, the 7th day is the one single day my Sister goes, she doesn't do her share even though she doesn't work and I do, but I adore my Dad and I will do anything for him.

He often tells me "oh love, I don't know where I would be without you." I tell him the same as I told my Mum, you looked after me when I was little, now it's my turn to take care of you. I clean for my Dad although he tries his best but he is completely blind in one eye and the other is almost blind too so he can't see dirt.

I cook some meals for him but he is quite independent and I don't like to take that independence away from him,, he does like my cooking though and enjoys my shepherds pies and homemade soups. I shop for him but only for bits like bread and milk because he likes to go to Iceland shopping on a Saturday morning.

My Dad will be 85 in June and he is a right trouper and I love the bones of him and I can't even contemplating losing him, the devastation I felt when I lost my Mum and Sister both suddenly within 3 weeks of each other was a pain I never want to feel again (still do) but obviously I know the time will come so I enjoy spending as much time with my Dad as possible making memories.

My Dad should have been a politician, he is so clever and would have made a fantastic Prime Minister LOL. He is a very likeable man just as my Mother was a very likeable/lovable woman.

Re: Did you look after your parents ?

How lovely Lion Queen