Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I went to my doctor yesterday. I had a really weird ailment,that I just couldn't cure or sort out. On entering his office,he asked me my problem,so I told him the truth...every time I blow my nose,my vision blurred-often quite badly. Gotta give him credit-he cured the problem in 10 seconds.
"Stop cleaning your spectacles on your hanky,Pug". it worked-I'm cured!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

A mother working in the kitchen was listening to her little Johnny in the adjoining room playing with his new train set. She heard the train stop and her son say “ All you buggers who want to get off at this station better get a move on and all you sods who want to get on better heave their arses quickly cuz the bloody trains about to move off”.



The mother remonstrated with her son telling him that he should not use such appalling language and that he was banned to the bedroom for 2 hours as punishment.




Two hours later she heard him again playing trains and when the train stopped heard him say “ All passengers who are disembarking, please remember to take all your belongings with you. Thank you for riding with us today and we look forward to serving you again soon. For those boarding, we ask you to stow your hand baggage under the seat and we hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. Those of you who are pissed off because the train is two hours late should take the matter up with the ugly bitch in the kitchen”.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

what did the foul mouthed urchin do with the two hours, confined to quarters, Tommy Tank perhaps? Was the Mother a Fat Controller?

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Thanks for the laughs lads, I needed a good chuckle.

I was watching an old film the other day, well the wife wanted to see it, I was stuck with it and it was too cold to bugger off down to the shed, anyway the film was called “Mr. Peabody and the Mermaid” a scene in the film shows William Powell strolling along a beach in Bermuda on a moonlit night with a girl hanging out of his arm, then she starts to gaze into his eyes and sing a mushy song, it would never happen in real life but this is only a film after all, pure fantasy, it was torture for me to watch it but the wife lapped it up. men singing up into a girls face and the other way round on the screen always embarrasses me to look at, it’s so corny..
I remembered when I once fixed up a mate of mine with one of the wife’s sisters, this chap hadn’t a clue when it came to going out with girls. He took her to the local cinema and walked her home, didn’t even buy her a bag of chips on the way home, when he got to her gate they stopped and stood there looking at each other, then the gobshite suddenly bursts into ’song’, murdering “If I fell in Love with you” by the Beatles, he had a voice like a wounded Vulture, she was so embarrassed and fearing some of her friends would chance by, she made a dash for her hall door, opened it, then slammed it, and that was the end of that beautiful romance, nipped in the bud as they say.
I reminded the wife of that incident with her sister, she was not amused “Eileen never forgets that night with YOUR mate, you sure knew how to pick them, where did you dig him up from?” Always amazes me how quickly she can reverse the blame to me, quite a neat little trick that.
Serenading I believe it’s called,, singing to your love did not go down well in those days, at least not in Dublin. Any of you lot ever try warbling up to your wife’s mug? Love to see some photos of that.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Always amazes me how quickly she can reverse the blame to me, quite a neat little trick that.

Tell me about it.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I’m all excited about the discovery of these seven new worlds capable of sustaining life, and only 36 light years away, a stones throw in space distance for advanced intelligent beings but out of our reach forever,. Exoplanets they call them, at first glance I thought it said Oxoplanets and says to meself “Ah it’s just old stock news beefed up by some eager journalist” (take me away after that effort)
It’s great to know that we are not alone and even greater to know that no greedy bastards from this planet can ever get to them to corrupt them and strip them of all assets.
I’m sure the inhabitants of these worlds know all about us down here and don’t want a belt of us, yes that’s what I call intelligent life, it makes good sense to avoid humans at all costs, they’re like a virus in the universe, they destroy everything they come into contact with.
And scientists keep wondering why they never try to contact us and send us signals, cop on eggheads,, if you were one of those beings would you?

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

All these new Planets, reaching them would be a Hard Drive.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

We're having more than enough trouble trying to keep just the one planet peaceful...imagine how it'd be if we had to elect 'honest' politicians for several more! Ohhhh,boy-where's that bloody TARDIS when y'need it!?!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

and just think of all those false claims " I just had to pop over to exoplanet 2 and 3 for some extraplanetary council meetings the hotels were so expensive"!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Calling Occupants of Exoplanetary Craft.