Flash Fiction

Jamie Clearwater left the Headmaster’s office in a bit of a state. This was his first posting after leaving teacher training, and when he received the message that the Headmaster wanted to see him, he feared it might be about some sort of shortcoming in his performance. Afterwards, as he was walking back along the corridor to his classroom, he wished that a shortcoming had been the reason for his summons.

“Ah, come in, Mr. Clearwater,” said the Headmaster, on hearing a knock and seeing half of Jamie’s face peering round the slightly opened door. “Please, sit down.”

Jamie sat on the chair at the subordinate side of a large desk; by now sensing from the Headmaster’s smile that he might not be in trouble, after all. “You sent for me?”

“Yes. The thing is, Mr. Webster was supposed to be taking class 4B today for sex education, but he’s come down with something, and I see you have a free period this morning.”

Jamie’s mouth opened slightly, but nothing came out, so he closed it again.

“Here we are then.” Said the Head, passing him a banana and a packet of condoms, “Nothing too complicated, just show the little buggers how to put one of these things on. And don’t let them mess you about.”

Once back in the classroom, Jamie dropped the banana skin into the waste paper basket, reflected for a moment on not being able to remember eating the banana, and then turned to face his class.

Things went far better than he expected. Not only did the class not mess him about, but they gave him their undivided attention for the full duration of the lesson, and in complete silence. Overall, it seemed to have gone pretty well. It wasn’t long afterwards, of course, that Jamie Clearwater became aware that things had not gone well at all, and, as he was bundled into the striped car, later that afternoon on the last day of his short teaching career, he couldn’t help feeling that he should have known better than to think they had.

Re: Flash Fiction

No, no, no - that was wicked!

Re: Flash Fiction

Yes, ST, the judge said something very similar.

Re: Flash Fiction

Ah yes, the pedantry of words. You must, you must, you absolutely must explain exactly what you mean and not say anything that could be interpreted in a different way.

Eats shoots and leaves and all that.

Re: Flash Fiction

You certainly have the gift for story telling - you must have been a
Seanchaí in a previous life!

Re: Flash Fiction

Telling them is easy; it's the thinking up of them that slows me down. The stories are few and far between.

Re: Flash Fiction

There's nothing like a banana for a midmorning snack Harbal.......I prefer the older ripe ones though....
Sorry! what did he do with the condom?..

Re: Flash Fiction

I haven't studied the forum rules well enough to know if I could get away with answering that, Foxy.

Re: Flash Fiction

Just a reminder that we do have a Cheeky Chat forum for 'risky' posts.

Re: Flash Fiction

I believe the headmaster wanted him to put the condom on the banana to show the class how to correctly fit one
Instead, the teacher put it where one normally puts a condom and ate the banana since that's what people normally do with them, all because the headmaster wasn't specific enough with his instructions.