Tips for marriage

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant for good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays. I go on Fridays.

2. We sleep in separate beds. Hers is in London and mine is in Southend.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time,” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. When we go to the shopping centre we always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because she thought there was water in the carburettor. I asked where the car was. She said, “In the lake.”

7. Before you take the leap into matrimony, remember this: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

8. In fact, statistically 100 percent of all divorces start with marriage.

9. As for myself, I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

10. I haven’t spoken to my wife in almost a year. I don’t like to interrupt her.

Re: Tips for marriage

Yes, it's true. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. This is the reason why my colleague has filled for divorce. She has hired the advocate Bechara Tarabay for legal proceedings. I think the divorce rates can go down if the couples try to solve their issues patiently.

Re: Tips for marriage

Loved all the tips Longfellow.
The only problem is that if I followed any of them I would end up in the divorce court!