Re: Does anyone else suffer panic attacks/anxiety disorder?
Hi
I suffer from PTSD, a legacy of my job, well parts of it at least.
It was controlled when I was working, it had to be boxed away in order to function.
When I took early retirement it gives you more time to reflect on things.
This coincided with a period of enforced inactivity due to a simple accident and then lousy medical care, I was confined indoors with very little movement, a Hospital acquired infection.
My past life is under control, it was my decision and what happened to me I can accept.
My PTSD relates to things that I saw, the women and kids, and they were horrible.
So, very vivid flashbacks, they are real, you relive things.
This causes a lack of sleep, which reduces your ability to get out, which means you stay in and the cycle gets worse.
It is not helped by the continuing Terrorists Attacks, Manchester had a severe effect on me, deliberately targeting young girls and i have seen too many injured and killed and body parts.
This leads to panic attacks about going out and facing such an atrocity.
You have to break the cycle and accept that you are no longer able to do anything about it and that you do need help.
You are no longer the Boss, the one who does not crack and who offers support to others.
Once you accept you need help, you are on the road back, you can defeat your Demons and the Panic Attacks.
There is nothing wrong with seeking help, it does not mean that you are weak, it just means that you are a caring person.
Even the hardest of the hard can crack, I did.
You can rebuild your life, bit by bit, baby steps, but it can be done.
You owe it to yourself to do it, you have done nothing wrong, it is just a fact of life.
I am now out and about, starting to enjoy life again, it is so good.
Do not dwell on what you have lost, but what you have gained.
I will never regain my fitness, I will never be like Floydy, OGF or Surfermom.
I do not dread waking up in the morning however, nor do I dread going out.
I value each daybreak and what it will bring.
I will no longer be going backpacking through the Jungles. for days on end.
I can however enjoy a walk on the canals, a day out in a new place, the simple things which make life worth living.
Life changes, as we get older we can no longer do what we could before.
That does not mean we are valueless, just that things are different.
When the Panics hit me, I did not venture out of the house.
I got myself a cheap step counter and ventured out, the first day I only managed 64 there and back.
I set myself a target, 10 more each day, the second day I did that and was so pleased with myself, I went out again.
It soon builds up, within a month I was doing a 1000 3 times a day.
Once you have done it, you regain your belief in yourself and the Panics become rarer and rarer and your self confidence and belief in yourself soars and life becomes so much better.