Alcoholism

My brother is now an alcoholic. He looks absolutely awful. Malnourished, gaunt, walks with particular gait. Now hangs around with another group of like minded people. Hi previous best friend is worried sick about him. He's 53. He's went from a bright young man who had a good job, to an unemployed person on the dole. He can't seem to get out of the spiral and it saddens me to see him like this. We're helpless. I know he has to help himself, but it's easier said than done. It's an illness like anything else. What a desperate situation to be in for the alcoholic and the family looking on.

Re: Alcoholism

Having grown up in an alcoholic house... and having a very close relative presently battling the illness, I can only offer this... there is nothing you can do. Nothing.. recovery is solely up to them.. They either want to recover, or they want to continue drinking. No amount of pleading or talking to them will help. You have to wash your hands of it and know that it's not your call. I very well know that it's very painful to watch someone you love very much continue down this path, and it's tempting to think that IF ONLY you did this or that, you could save them.. but you can't. Only they can.

Re: Alcoholism

Alice I have known a number of alcoholics including one man, an accountant with a lovely wife and home who ended up homeless and walking the streets.

I also lived with one for some years, she was my boss.She used to drive while drunk and once drove into metal railing and almost tore off her left arm, still she kept on drinking (this was before the time of breathalyzers and drink drive laws) .

There is very little you can do for them other than offer emotional support if they decide to dry out.

Re: Alcoholism

Saying this is an illness is just making excuses for them, they drink because they choose to and will stop when they choose to. Rather than excusing yheir bad behaviour they need to be made to face up to their problem and to feel some sort of shame in their bad behaviour, for that's all it is, inxcusable bad behaviour

Re: Alcoholism

Have you tried video him,or a series of photos and show him how he looks now to how he looked before ,there ,must be low self esteem involved to let himself go

Re: Alcoholism

You may be right.... OR not. However, what I am saying is there is NOTHING anyone can do for them.. they have to do it themselves, whether it's a disease, or as you say a charactor flaw.

Re: Alcoholism

AudreyII is right, nobody can help when alcoholism has a firm grip on a person, sometimes the person themselves can overcome it, whether through AA or rehab but the success rates even for AA are low and the risk of relapse is very high.
If someone is an alcoholic they are 'powerless' over alcohol. Even if they haven't drunk for years just one drink can lead them back into the cycle of heavy drinking on a daily basis. They are unable to drink as a non alcoholic does, their brain is different in how it processes the results of the alcohol and their 'thinking' brain cannot override this craving. It leads to death in many cases and untold misery for them and their families.

Re: Alcoholism

my younger sister died from alcoholism, I was with her in the moments leading up to her death and it was terrible! She was in agony and could hardly breathe, it was an awful sight to witness and one I will never forget.

She was scared and kept telling me she was dying but I didn't want to believe it, still hoping it was just another funny turn but knowing it wasn't the case and her time was running out.

People can suffer dreadfully from the disease,the pain is often unbearable and the symptoms frightening.

Re: Alcoholism

Not much of a picnic for those of us watching is it.. But watch is all you can do. You can encourage them to stop, but it does no good. They have to want to. It IS a horrible disease.. I have seen my alchoholic so afaid of dying, yet unable to stop drinking. It's a rollercoaster ride that doesn't seem to end. So many new starts.. vows to quit.. stints in rehab and AA meetings.. only to have it all dashed to hell with that one drink. It's getting your hopes up over and over, only to have the same pattern return. It's better to have NO hope for them and to resign to the inevitable rather than live on that rollercoaster.

Re: Alcoholism

that's true Audrey, we always knew what the outcome would be and accepted we couldn't change it, they live their own lives and we have to live ours