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east sussex
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 6,464
realspeed is male  realspeed has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
18-06-2017, 09:41 PM

Irish Girl

The Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this
time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know
how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't You know
what you put your Mum through??!!"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute...

"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to
this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat,
title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account certificate
for 5 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you Daddy
the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside
plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath)
invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the
Riviera, and...."

"Now what was it you said you had become?"

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff, sniff"

"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said "a
Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!"
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