Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

Why do our parents always get blamed for everything?
Most parents do their best for their kids but they still get blamed!

My dad left us with nothing when we were little kids. My mother left us to fend for ourselves whilst she went out to work to get money to feed us and keep a roof over our head.
On occasions, my mother beat us with a strap but she was trying to discipline us and teach us to know right from wrong.

l am not bitter towards them. In fact, l thank them for making me independent and streetwise. I also have a great sense of humour and can laugh at most things.

Do you blame your parents for the life you have had and the way you have turned out?

Re: Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

On the other hand, will our own children blame us for things in their life?

My children aren’t happy that l voted to leave the EU? So, they will probably blame me for that!!

Re: Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

It's tempting to blame my parents for my own personality, but they too were flawed - like most of us - and weren't able to be anything different from what they were. We pass on our failings and weaknesses from one generation to the next, not always deliberately. Maybe if my own parents had simulated tactile affection towards their children, even if they didn't want to, some of it may have rubbed off.

We are what we are, we all struggle with getting through life the best we can.

Re: Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

I believe that parents who do too much for their children are not good parents! It is a parents job to teach them how to look after themselves, so I believe that your Mum, Art, was doing that... even if it wasn't her choice to do it that way!

I am afraid the parents I blame, for what their children do wrong, are the ones who over indulge them & those who let their kids do what they want providing they don't spoil the parents life.

If they let their kids have what they want, that is just buying the children's love. If they let them do what they want, so long as they don't upset mum & dads plans, that is selfish parents. Neither of these types of parents teach their children anything worth knowing..... so the only ones who are not to blame are those who spend time teaching , even if it isn't what the child wants to learn!

Re: Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

One of mine does the other was all for it.

Re: Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

Whilst there were some aspects of my childhood I could have done without like the religious element, I don't blame my parents for me being me.

Re: Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

When we are young we have hopes and dreams , we all want to have a nice life and maybe children to love and complete us . Our parents all felt the same in their youth , if we look back at their happy wedding day photos they started with hopes and dreams and with the intention of doing their best , but sadly life kicks in , worry stress unhappiness plays it's negative part and being human we make mistakes and once on the downward spiral more unhappiness and problems come in , some irreparable, usually the children suffer , we can be damaged by the past and even our children can be damaged even though we as parents wanted the very best for them , maybe our hopes and dreams evaporated and we just got it wrong .

My past was painful like many people , in fact I think we are all flawed , I've made mistakes and see issues in my children . I've talked to them about the issues as best as I can , they don't need to blame me for their problems and flaws I blame myself enough for that , but in the beginning I started out hoping for the best for my kids , but like many I got it wrong .

I have a friend who tells me of her beautiful childhood and her good caring parents and I could listen to her for hours , I tell her how blessed she was , yet she too has issues , I think life does it to us .

Life was difficult in my childhood for me and my siblings , but I am at peace with my mum and dad who passed over many years ago now , I no longer blame them , in fact I realise they were flawed too .

I do the best I can for my adult children and I'm a brilliant grandmother , far better than I was a mum that's for sure . Hindsite is a wonderful thing .

Re: Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

A lovely - and thought provoking, post, Susan M.

Re: Blaming The Parents. Didn’t They Do The Best They Could?

All we can do is be the best we know how and hope we are doing it right. My mother brought me up to be a caring woman and my mum was the most caring person I ever met in my life yet her mother, my grandma was a pig to her and was a nasty woman so thank god mummum broke the mould! Funnily enough my mum lived her mother dearly even though she was cold.