Perks of Old Age !
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
No-one expects you to run - anywhere.
People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
You can eat dinner at 4 pm.
You can live without sex, but not your glasses.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You no longer hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with the music in the lift.
Your eyes won’t get much worse.
Your investment in Health Insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
national weather forecast.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
You can’t remember who sent you this list,
you notice that these are all in big print for your convenience.
And finally,
Never, under any circumstance, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!!
Any more you can think of?