Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

When people hold grudges against others, do you think it harms them more than those they hold the grudge against? Or do you think they benefit in some way from it? I see grudges as a destructive type of emotion, and consequently I would not waste any energy on them. But do others see a benefit from them?

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

No I don't. You can start by having a grudge against someone then you work it out that its a no go for any peace of mind. I ignore people who don't like or want to be near me. There are plenty of other people who want and need friends. It destroys you from within if you hold grudges or
hate someone. Better to write it down on a piece of paper what its all about then throw it away and get on with your life.

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

Holding a grudge is abhorrent as is jealousy ....
It must affect your health too ..... Dont understand why people do this

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

I think if someone does the dirty on you it's only human nature to resent it, it's how you deal with it that matters. I don't believe it's healthy to let it smoulder inside you but much better to resolve the issue one way or another.

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

Sometimes you just have to walk away from something and write it off to experience, you can't win them all and bearing a grudge can sometimes take over your life..

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

I have found that holding a grudge hurts you more than the person, then have long gone and not even paying pass while you are still hurting best to let it go.

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

I think grudges in families are the worst kind, they don't only effect the people holding the grudge but the whole family including kids can be dragged into it, then all sort of stories are told to reinforce each argument as to who's in the right. I've seen it happen and the longer it goes on the harder it gets to reconcile, when my kids were young and they argued I always encouraged them to make up before they went to bed and we usually all ended up laughing about it, this paid off for when they got older, they have their disagreements sure enough but they never hold grudges, my daughter now does the same with her two boys, I hate grudges.
I think what I'm trying to say is that if people are made aware when they are young of the damage grudges can do they tend to avoid them. Grudges can go on for years, indeed for a lifetime, if not nipped in the bud.

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

Great post Jem - its so true and well done ......

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

Holding a grudge and resentment just brings pain to those concerned, life is too short, forget it or forgive and move on.

Re: Holding grudges - who does it harm most?

Do you mean by grudge, not forgetting? Sometimes it can be rather foolish to forget. How many times are you supposed to forget?

Should a victim forget only to allow it to happen again?

I say remember and avoid further contact lest you be a serial victim.