09-04-2019, 06:40 AM
421
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Longdogs
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Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
09-04-2019, 01:23 PM
423
Re: Let's have a laugh
A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again. He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
09-04-2019, 02:45 PM
424
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy
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A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again. He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
Excellent!
09-04-2019, 09:25 PM
428
Re: Let's have a laugh
A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and the girl was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, the girl's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, the girl told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.
"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and she proceeded to the back of the line.
A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry."
10-04-2019, 01:55 PM
429
Re: Let's have a laugh
Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory.For many years, he had a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire
to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought
professional help from the factory psychologist. After six
months of intense therapy, however, the frustrated therapist
gave up. He then advised Yossel to go ahead and do it,
otherwise he would probably never have any peace of mind.
The next day Yossel came home from work very early. His
wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had
happened.
For the first time, Yossel tearfully confessed to her his
tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He
went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did
it, and he was immediately fired.
Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly
yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal,
completely-intact penis.
She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the
pickle slicer?"
Yossel replied, "I think she got fired, too."
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