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Richmond
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26-09-2020, 12:05 PM
1761

Re: Let's have a laugh

Ho ho ho - its just around the corner!!

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26-09-2020, 02:04 PM
1762

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Ho ho ho - its just around the corner!!

Attachment 13794


I like it. Whenever someone puts in place a rule, someone else will find a way to circumvent it!
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29-09-2020, 01:01 PM
1763

Re: Let's have a laugh

A wealthy Arab sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but

prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in

case the need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found

locally, so, the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. He

willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab

sent the Scotsman, in appreciation for his giving his blood, a new

BMW, a 5-carat diamonds and $50,000 dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a

corrective surgery.

The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate

more of his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card

and a box of Black Magic chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind

gesture as he had before. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought

you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW,

diamonds and money ... but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box

of chocolates."

To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I have Scottish blood in ma

veins now".
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29-09-2020, 02:26 PM
1764

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
A wealthy Arab sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but

prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in

case the need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found

locally, so, the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. He

willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab

sent the Scotsman, in appreciation for his giving his blood, a new

BMW, a 5-carat diamonds and $50,000 dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a

corrective surgery.

The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate

more of his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card

and a box of Black Magic chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind

gesture as he had before. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought

you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW,

diamonds and money ... but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box

of chocolates."

To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I have Scottish blood in ma

veins now".
Good for thee, lass. Ah thought tha'd be comin' to t'point where it wer a Yorkshire lad who donated t'blood.
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30-09-2020, 03:19 PM
1765

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->
Good for thee, lass. Ah thought tha'd be comin' to t'point where it wer a Yorkshire lad who donated t'blood.
ee- b'ye gum lad - thou hast high expectations of us Yorkshire folk !!

IF we reluctantly were to 'donate' -- we would water it down first to make sure it went further!
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30-09-2020, 04:19 PM
1766

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
ee- b'ye gum lad - thou hast high expectations of us Yorkshire folk !!

IF we reluctantly were to 'donate' -- we would water it down first to make sure it went further!
We would, or we'd charge for it!
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01-10-2020, 08:42 PM
1767

Re: Let's have a laugh

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01-10-2020, 08:44 PM
1768

Re: Let's have a laugh

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02-10-2020, 11:08 AM
1769

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Attachment 13816
After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.

“A less costly alternative,” said the doctor, “is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.”

The Alabamian said to the doctor, “I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.”

“Trust me,” said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count…

“1”

“2”

“3”

“4”

“5”

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
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JBR
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02-10-2020, 12:47 PM
1770

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.

“A less costly alternative,” said the doctor, “is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.”

The Alabamian said to the doctor, “I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.”

“Trust me,” said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count…

“1”

“2”

“3”

“4”

“5”

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
 
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