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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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Posts: 12,538
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24-06-2021, 03:44 PM
2311

Re: Let's have a laugh

About to go on holiday and my neighbour asked me to bring 800 cigarettes back for him. Got back and gave them to him.
"How much do I owe you?"
"£500"
"Blimey, that's dear." "Where did you go?"
"Bournemouth"
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Longdogs
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SW England
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 43,957
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24-06-2021, 03:47 PM
2312

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
About to go on holiday and my neighbour asked me to bring 800 cigarettes back for him. Got back and gave them to him.
"How much do I owe you?"
"£500"
"Blimey, that's dear." "Where did you go?"
"Bournemouth"
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Percy Vere
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Wilds and woolly wastes of Staffordshire, UK
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 4,792
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24-06-2021, 04:04 PM
2313

Re: Let's have a laugh

From today's Spectator.


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Longdogs
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SW England
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24-06-2021, 04:06 PM
2314

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Percy Vere ->
From today's Spectator.
Brilliant!
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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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25-06-2021, 03:36 PM
2315

Re: Let's have a laugh

Two Yorkshire lads were going for jobs at the same company.
When they got there for the interviews one of them says " I'll gu in first'n if they ask any questions I'll gi thi t'answers when ah come art, cos I'm a bit brighter than thee".
So his mate went in for the interview and the manager says " Jobs a doddle lad, but ave t'ask thi a couple of questions just t'prove tha not as thick as two short planks, ok?
"Fire away" says his mate
" If tha ad an accident and lost an eye, what would tha be? " asks manager
"That's easy" says his mate "I'd be aif blind"
"Correct". says the manager "And if tha lost booath eyes what would tha be?"
"Then I'd be totally blind" says his mate
"Correct again" says the manager "thas gorra a job. Now ask thi mate t'come in".
The first lad comes out and says "it's eisy. Ee'll ask thi two questions 'nd t'answers are aif blind 'nd totally blind, ok?"
So in pops t'other lad and the manager says "I've two questions t'ask thi before I can give thi the job, ok. Nar then, if tha ad an accident and lost an ear what would tha be?"
"Aif blind" says lad
The manager looked at him gone art thinking "Ave a reit teacake 'ere"
"And what would tha be if tha lost booath ears?" he asks him.
"Then I'd be totally blind"
"Bloody 'ell lad how's tha work that art?" Asked the gobsmacked manager
"Well," says lad, " if ah lost booath ears me cap ad fall ova me eyes"
John's Avatar
John
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Eastleigh Hampshire
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,686
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25-06-2021, 04:26 PM
2316

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->
Two Yorkshire lads were going for jobs at the same company.
When they got there for the interviews one of them says " I'll gu in first'n if they ask any questions I'll gi thi t'answers when ah come art, cos I'm a bit brighter than thee".
So his mate went in for the interview and the manager says " Jobs a doddle lad, but ave t'ask thi a couple of questions just t'prove tha not as thick as two short planks, ok?
"Fire away" says his mate
" If tha ad an accident and lost an eye, what would tha be? " asks manager
"That's easy" says his mate "I'd be aif blind"
"Correct". says the manager "And if tha lost booath eyes what would tha be?"
"Then I'd be totally blind" says his mate
"Correct again" says the manager "thas gorra a job. Now ask thi mate t'come in".
The first lad comes out and says "it's eisy. Ee'll ask thi two questions 'nd t'answers are aif blind 'nd totally blind, ok?"
So in pops t'other lad and the manager says "I've two questions t'ask thi before I can give thi the job, ok. Nar then, if tha ad an accident and lost an ear what would tha be?"
"Aif blind" says lad
The manager looked at him gone art thinking "Ave a reit teacake 'ere"
"And what would tha be if tha lost booath ears?" he asks him.
"Then I'd be totally blind"
"Bloody 'ell lad how's tha work that art?" Asked the gobsmacked manager
"Well," says lad, " if ah lost booath ears me cap ad fall ova me eyes"
Wonderful stuff. Still chuckling!
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Primus1
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York
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 4,648
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25-06-2021, 06:30 PM
2317

Re: Let's have a laugh

Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales,
Llysthwycyyrigridarbrewthh...

Sorry, had a hair in my mouth. I went to Swansea!
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Primus1
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York
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 4,648
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25-06-2021, 06:34 PM
2318

Re: Let's have a laugh

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...

Now I can't read anything!
Judd's Avatar
Judd
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Judd is offline
West Riding of Yorkshire
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 12,538
Judd is male  Judd has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
25-06-2021, 07:45 PM
2319

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Primus1 ->
Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales,
Llysthwycyyrigridarbrewthh...

Sorry, had a hair in my mouth. I went to Swansea!


Reminds me of the time I went out with a Welsh lass - she had 36DDs. Not her cup-size, in her name.
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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 32,785
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25-06-2021, 08:22 PM
2320

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Primus1 ->
Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales,
Llysthwycyyrigridarbrewthh...

Sorry, had a hair in my mouth. I went to Swansea!
 
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