23-01-2014, 11:51 PM
1
On his trail!
So there I was in this sleazy nightclub at the wrong end of town; this well stacked bar room floozy approached me. 'Ain't seen you here before, stranger?'. Well I looked at her from top to bottom, she was quite a piece of work. 'So what darling', I said, 'go find some other sucker to latch onto. I ain't here to fraternise with the locals - move it sister'.I was close, so close I could practically smell him. No-way was I leaving this s*** house without a lead to his whereabouts.
'Hey Angel', she shouted. 'We have a live one here'.
I smiled. It was so good to be awoken out of my semi-comatose state. I wouldn't hurt him too much, just enough to get some answers. The trail was getting warmer by the minute and about to get a lot warmer ...
***
The start of me new book. Wotcha think?
24-01-2014, 12:13 AM
5
Re: On his trail!
Originally Posted by Meg
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'Floozy' 
I don't think we have them these days do we, they are called something else... .....not a lot
24-01-2014, 12:16 AM
7
Re: On his trail!
Originally Posted by Rachel
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Where's the first book ? we've not read it yet have we .. ho hummm ... promises
.
24-01-2014, 12:19 AM
8
Re: On his trail!
Originally Posted by MKJ
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Yu is too cultured for the style of my new book. This new book is for REAL men and eh floozy types of women, or women that would like to be 'floozy'. No time for soft natured romantics ...
You are a century too late with your dialogue Mark unless your book is set in the 20's of course.
noun, plural floo·zies. Slang.
a gaudily dressed, usually immoral woman, especially a prostitute.
Also, floo·sie, floo·sy, floo·zie.
Origin:
1905–10; origin uncertain
24-01-2014, 12:28 AM
9
Re: On his trail!
Originally Posted by Meg
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...'floozy' is very 1920s You are a century too late with your dialogue Mark unless your book is set in the 20's of course.
I mean look at the above paragraph. Doesn't it just flow like warm honey - a sweet delight
?
24-01-2014, 12:36 AM
10
Re: On his trail!
Originally Posted by MKJ
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Nah, certain words have a wonderful sound and intrinsic meaning. 'Floozy' just rolls off the tongue and is fit for purpose. There is more to writing then just using appropriate words. Words are like musical notes and a story should be thought in the same vein as composing entrancing music. One needs to go with the flow in more ways than one.I mean look at the above paragraph. Doesn't it just flow like warm honey - a sweet delight
?
Not exactly Dylan Thomas is it, more Thomas the tank engine
. I expect a little more finesse from a romantic Welshman with with the valleys in his blood...
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