20-01-2017, 09:23 AM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
I have just spent 20 minutes defrosting my car-again.Got home at 02.30-just been called back in as Chris-the mouth didn't properly defrost his truck and has taken the side out against the gatepost!
So-as per,in these sits...PUGGY TO DA RESCUE.....a-flikkin-gain.
[just thought I'd mention it]
20-01-2017, 09:45 PM
1664
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Well,despite your hilarity,chaps,his truck had to be transported to a service station,where it spent the day. Two new panels,new mirror/mirror arm AND new camera on rear....and apparently,it's MY fault-even though I was in bed snoring at the time,for 'parking in the wrong place'. IE, 'HIS' parking space,ffs! Funk me-my low-lowder's 72 feet long,10'6" wide,12'4" high-and weighs 28 tons when unloaded...and THAT prick couldn't see it,parked 12 feet feet from his 7.5 ton pretend hgv,ffs. FFS,I've got a WHEELBARROW bigger than his mickey-mouse truck! We faced off today-he lost.I gave him the keys and told him to fkn drive it...there was a 26-ton machine to pick up,plus buckets,bowser and a dump-truck. He declined the offer. [wanker] Me-annoyed? Why joo think that???
21-01-2017, 07:29 AM
1667
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
try this recipe for controlled anger management PugsJohn Cleese, offers his take on Terrorism Threats:
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated," or even "A Bit Cross."
The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since "The Blitz" in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. They had a rare fit of ire and sank it.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled."
So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
21-01-2017, 07:33 AM
1668
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. They then produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
21-01-2017, 09:53 PM
1669
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
I very seldom get angry since I got older, what's the point nobody pays an attention to you anyway, waste of time and bad for the blood pressure.
A slight change of subject, Love rears it's ugly head once more, as George used to say in "George and Mildred"
Gone are the days when we made love in the Heather
Now we just lie on the bed creaking together
You told me you were mine, and your love would never cease
And it shows on your face, engraved in every crease.
How you lovingly made my jam flavoured sago
Although you were crippled with that awful lumbago
Fifty years have passed since we tied the knot
Now the stretched threads are beginning to rot
I see you now with your wrinkly old ass
And your walking very slow since that last bypass
In all the years we’ve been married I pray
We’ll be in the same boat when we’re carried away.
I really had to dig deep to come up with that love poem for the missus when we were 50 years married, I’m not one for the love poems at all, it was tough for me but she was not the least bit impressed “There’s no wrinkles on my arse” says she “.Well how would I know, it’s so long since I seen it” says I. Yes folks that’s true love for you, give and take.
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