17-05-2015, 09:33 PM
11
Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
Originally Posted by Anita
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This caught my attention as I do indeed have a challenging relationship with my DIL, and not sure how best to resolve the situation.
it must be very difficult for you .
17-05-2015, 09:41 PM
12
Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
I wonder if the fact that I got on well with my late MIL has helped me to have a good relationship with my DIL
.I never had a Mother of my own and called my MIL 'Mother' and we had an easiness between us.
I was my husband's second wife and my MIL hated her first DIL who did not let her see her grandchildren.
Relationships are so complicated aren't they ...
17-05-2015, 09:47 PM
13
Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
They really are ! one of the main reasons my MIL and I didn't get on at first was her worry I would be like her other son's wife who had just taken her grand daughter to live at the other end of the country after living with her for 5 years, we chose to announce our engagement the weekend it all happened (obviously didn't know it was happening) so she had become very distrustful and was almost grieving for the little girl. We just got all caught up in her mind with that.
17-05-2015, 09:57 PM
14
Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
Originally Posted by Meg
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I am sorry to hear that Anita it must be very difficult for you .
You can't say anything that could make it more difficult but it is hard to feel excluded.
17-05-2015, 10:02 PM
16
Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
Originally Posted by Julie1962
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They really are ! one of the main reasons my MIL and I didn't get on at first was her worry I would be like her other son's wife who had just taken her grand daughter to live at the other end of the country after living with her for 5 years, we chose to announce our engagement the weekend it all happened (obviously didn't know it was happening) so she had become very distrustful and was almost grieving for the little girl. We just got all caught up in her mind with that.
17-05-2015, 10:04 PM
17
Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
I was the DIL with attitude.. I married my husband and was preganant with our first child and told both mums that they were welcome to offer advice but if they tried to bulldoze or interfere they would find themselves on the wrong side of my front door..Luckily both mum and MIL are very sweet helpful ladies.
As a MIL myself I tried to be welcoming and even handed. At one time my DIL said if she ever left my son it would be to move in here with OH and myself , because she liked it here so much.
Sadly last year their marriage ended and as much as I would have like for it to stay friendly she made it impossible. Now I simply dont communicate with her and thats that. Theres no challenge about it she had absolutly no respect for my OH ( she posted awful things on FB) so I just cut her out of our lives.
People are people regardless of title if they have no respect for me I have no time for them.
17-05-2015, 10:07 PM
18
Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
Originally Posted by Anita
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It's difficult when you are having to play down things which seem a bit unfair in order to keep the relationships ok, I have had to let go of ever spending Christmas etc with my son and his wife and they have moved to be near my DIL's parents so see them a lot more.I visit when I can every few months and speak to my son on the phone but I let him phone me so that I'm not picking a time when they are busy or having an evening to themselves.
has your son ever said anything to you about the situation, I appreciate it would be difficult for you to broach the subject with him. He must know when you are sad
17-05-2015, 10:21 PM
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Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
Yes I think he does and he does phone me regularly and I do arrange to visit. I sort of have to accept the fact that his wife's and her family come first now, in order to keep the peace.I'm not a possessive Mother, he is very much his own person and I certainly don't make any demands at all, in fact I keep very quiet, it's not always easy but I manage it somehow !
17-05-2015, 10:30 PM
20
Re: Challenging relationship with a daughter-in-law?
Originally Posted by Anita
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Yes I think he does and he does phone me regularly and I do arrange to visit. I sort of have to accept the fact that his wife's and her family come first now, in order to keep the peace. I'm not a possessive Mother, he is very much his own person and I certainly don't make any demands at all, in fact I keep very quiet, it's not always easy but I manage it somehow !
can I ask what you think could be done to make the situation better for you .Have you tried writing to your DIL, it can be easier sometimes to express our feelings on paper
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