18-03-2013, 10:10 PM
21
Re: Giving and taking
Originally Posted by Robert Junior
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Now I understand .When I was a young man , I adopted from this saying by HERACLITUS
“ A mans character is his DESTINY” ( or character).
A person's character might be summed up by examining how they behave when no one is looking.... and how that behavior matches up to ethical norms, personal and/or societal. So these choices in how one acts day to day will add up to a positive or negative character and therefore to what happens to them in the long run... their fate
I’m still waiting for my 15 minutes of fame. Also I wont find out until I’m promoted to Glory which Robert Junior was the real me.
Heraclitus,
On the Universe
Greek philosopher
(540 BC - 480 BC).
BTW Annie, I sometimes cringe when I re read some of my previous days tosh[/SIZE]
I'd rather think I'm headed for nothingness that glory though. Glory sounds like an exhausting state to maintain. 
19-03-2013, 02:33 PM
22
Re: Giving and taking
Oh Annie, I know! I feel like i've wasted my whole life by trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be and now, much too late ,I actually like myself for who I am and really don't give a rat's arse whether folk like me or not. I'm a caring, giving person whose emotions have been trampled on so many times it's unreal and still I kept 'going back for more', trying to prove to ( myself?) whoever that I was special and finally I realise that I've always been 'special' just not to the folk I insisted on hanging around with.
19-03-2013, 03:37 PM
24
Re: Giving and taking
Originally Posted by Annie Jack
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When you can’t reach the standards of another’s heart you must ask yourself, "What value do I put on my soul that I would subject myself to such rejection?” ― Shannon L. AlderThoughts?
Originally Posted by Annie Jack
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I put the original quote up there while musing on some challenging aspects of my relationship.
Originally Posted by Annie Jack
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Reflecting on the quote further I would go so far as to say the standard set was unconditional love.
Originally Posted by Annie Jack
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Well, I'm a giver. For the most part I'm ok with doing so voluntarily, sometimes anonymously, often on request. If I have the resources to help someone in need, why not? I'm not really a "what's in it for me" sort of person and I'm uncomfortable with people reciprocating. So maybe that makes me a doormat or a soft touch. Or foolish.I've recently fallen short of meeting the standards of someone I care for deeply and that caused a serious rift and some hurtful, verbal abuse. So, on reading the quote I wondered... what value do I place on my own well-being, on my soul, that I let myself be treated this way?
I guess it's a bit obscure in the phrasing but that's how I interpreted it. Doesn't matter now... water under the bridge. Not sure what I was thinking posting it, but there it is.
I think that truly unconditional love can and must be given to a child. However, once someone becomes an adult then people have to take responsibility for themselves and their actions (whether within a relationship or not). They should not rely on someone else.
Thinking about it there have been times when my relationship with my husband has been challenged - those challenges have come from within our relationship and externally. So far we have survived the challenges, but something may well come along one day which is too big to overcome. I don't know how I would handle what I felt was an insurmountable challenge to my unconditoinal love - would I walk away or would I compromise, accept it and adapt so we can stay together. Some issues are too big a price to ask.
I do know that very often within a relationship one person (very often the woman) loses sight of herself trying to keep a relationship on an even keel and some compromises are a step too far. Then a change has to take place. That change has to be made by both parties not just one because of a promise of unconditional love.
I would say a each individual has to know and value themself first and foremost, otherwise they will be miserable. Only by knowing, valuing and believing in ourselves can a person know what they can and cannot accept in someone else and how far they can truly compromise (and if compromise is made it doesn't mean a person has to submerge themselves in order to maintain the relationship - it works both ways).
I hope things take a turn for the better soon Annie-Jack. I would say go with your gut instinct and keep your own integrity and pride intact. You owe it to yourself to look after yourself and have a healthy regard for yourself and your values.
If I am talking rubbish or misundertood - just ignore me Annie.
19-03-2013, 07:48 PM
26
Re: Giving and taking
I am not sure about the concept of unconditional love. I would fall out of love with someone who had lost my respect, no matter who they were. I certainly don't believe in my family right or wrong. I would have no hesitation in reporting them if they seriously fell foul of the law, for instance.
19-03-2013, 10:42 PM
28
Re: Giving and taking
This has been my guide for life for the past 30-odd years:Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
* * *
BIB especially
21-03-2013, 01:02 PM
30
Re: Giving and taking
Originally Posted by Pats CG
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Love that Karen.... What does BIB mean.....
it's a lovely verse isn't it Pats and if there is a guide for life, I would vote for that one.
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