Re: Power

The arguer ! Some people use power by force of argument to dominate the listener. Responding to his or her arguments motivates the power to think of even more arguments to overcome any objections or counter arguments.
I worked for a small company where the owner used autocratic style arguments to dominate subordinates. I found my own strategy was silence as mentioned earlier in this thread. This frequently took the wind out of his sails!

Good team play can also diffuse power.....

Re: Power

Having some Power where I'm at now I find it easier to say WE, it gives everyone a say. They are included.

Re: Power

Continuing with a look at power. Let's bring this down to a one-on-one scenario. Imagine this, you are out somewhere in public, a person of the opposite gender approaches you, smiles, and after a brief exchange of pleasantries that person asks for your phone number ? Who has the power ? The person doing the asking or the person who says yes or no ?

Re: Power

The person who says yes or no

Re: Power

The person in whose powers it is to say yes or no. He or she has just been handed that power by the person asking.

Re: Power

Feeling 'squashed' or intimidated, can also be a state of mind IMO.. It can be a personality trait.
Someone can only have power over you if you allow yourself to feel that way.

For example, some shy people will always feel intimidated, even over simple everyday things, while more self-assured, confident personalities would not feel that way in the same circumstances.

Feeling loss of power, is not always someone else's fault.
Sometimes having to make difficult decisions can make us feel lost and helpless, and that is why I say it can come from within.

Re: Power

[QUOTE=Mups;1242398]
Someone can only have power over you if you allow yourself to feel that way.
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Bakerman

Mups, on this one small point I disagree. I don't believe feeling has anything to do with who has the power. Let's take an extreme example. Imagine you are penny-less. Literally, flat broke. For what ever reason you are also homeless and have no vehicle. In desperation you pan-handle for money to buy food. The strangers you beg from have the power to give or not give money. How you feel about that is totally irrelevant. Those strangers have the power, not you.
I know that is an extreme situation but it demonstrates that the person asking is without power.

Re: Power

OK Bakerman, let us take your extreme example.

I believe I would see the person who would not help another as having no compassion. If as you say, I was in such a state as you describe and no one would help, I am not convinced I would see him as 'powerful'.
I might see him more as unfeeling, lacking any experience of my world and therefore incompassionate - but probably not powerful.
Surely I would still have the power to put him out of my mind instead of dwelling on it? He would never have the power to take away my thoughts.

I do kinda understand what you mean, but as I say if I was sitting on the pavement, cold, wet and starving and this fictitious person walked by with his nose in the air, just because he refused to give me a cent, doesn't mean he is a powerful person.


It depends on how far you want to take this.
A powerful 'mogul' like Simon Cowell for example, can terrify some young hopefuls just by his presence, yet put that same man in a position he knows nothing about, on his own without his money or advisors around him, and he could suddenly become vulnerable instead of powerful.

Is someone lacking 'power' automatically vulnerable would you say?

Re: Power

I think money can give people power, but only over those who are asking for money!

If I see somebody in need and I can help, I will give what I can. It doesn't make me feel powerful, it makes me feel grateful that I am not in the same position, It also makes me feel good that I have been able to give that person a little more comfort than he had before I came along.

Really powerful people have often worked hard to gain that feeling of power... so why should those, who ask them for anything, feel resentful?

Re: Power

[QUOTE=Twink55;1242684]I think money can give people power, but only over those who are asking for money!

If I see somebody in need and I can help, I will give what I can. It doesn't make me feel powerful...

Really powerful people have often worked hard to gain that feeling of power... so why should those, who ask them for anything, feel resentful?

[QUOTE=Mups;1242398]
Someone can only have power over you if you allow yourself to feel that way.

Feeling loss of power, is not always someone else's fault.
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Bakerman
I think we are getting a tad off track. The topic is, "who has the power and who does not have power ? Is it the person who is asking for something ? Or is it the person who says yes or no ? "
When we deviate from the basic question, by talking about feelings or blame, we are losing sight of the basic question.