Re: What Is ‘Gaslighting’?

My position on that is that everybody is different. Anybody who is a student of human behaviour needs to realise that there are some broad categories and types of behaviour that can be used as a general guide. Call them "labels" if you will. But at the end of the day we are all different. Some people may exhibit behaviour that could be labelled as "gaslighting" but they may only do it to one person at one stage of their life. Say a partner or a sibling. Others may use it habitually as a general pattern of relating to vulnerable people around them to get the better of them or for personal gain. In the case of a boss who may undermine the confidence of subordinates to keep them dependent. Some case may be mild and subtle, others extreme and brutal. It basically entails convincing somebody that they are inadequate or weak and dependent on you for validation. It's a little different to bullying but not much. Countermeasures can be good supportive counselling and education with a person as to what is happening. Helping somebody who has been even a short term victim of this behaviour is a sensitive and complex process. The first step is to try to break the cycle of abuse by reality checking with the victim as to why they need such conditional approval from the person and that there being is not defined by them. Being assured by a mental health professional that they are not "going mad" - which they seldom are- Is a powerful tool that if used well can be of great help. Anyone of any age can be a victim or a perpetrator. The old story is that if a destructive habit is not challenged it can very easily last for life. Rhetorical questioning accompanied by belittlement is one brief form of what could be considered gaslighting. Simple name calling and questioning somebody's intelligence and/or experience to obtain a superior position without the effort of rigorous argument or real knowledge is an example.