07-08-2012, 09:23 AM
31
Re: Only Child vs Big Family
I'm an only child and my family abounded with only children with the result that I have just one cousin left who I don't see much of as he lives in Jersey. I was also a late baby as my Mum was 39 when she had me so there was quite a generation gap when I was growing up. At that time I probably wished I had a brother or sister but it doesn't bother me now. I can choose my friends, you can't choose your family so that suits me fine
07-08-2012, 09:27 AM
32
Re: Only Child vs Big Family
I'm a one off. In 1945 things were very tough especially for my old man who had one hell of a job to find work, also for my mum being married to a “Germ – an” and they decided that they'd concentrate on one kid to provide the best rather than spread what little they had over more than one.I took the same approach when our son was born and we none of us regret it.
Being an only child has other advantages than the material. One needs to develop self reliance on a personal level and to deal with many growing up problems without siblings to help.
On another level today with the huge population of GB let alone the rest of the world more than two kids in MY opinion is tantamount to pollution. In GB it's even worse. Because we must import the essentials of life as the country simply can't produce what it needs, and because our imports far exceed our exports, a growing population simply pushes the whole country “towards the buffers” at an ever increasing rate as governments have to take on ever increasing debt.
But where are this growing population to live? Renting means that someone has to have bought the place in the first place and that will generally mean a mortgage which itself is funded by a lending establishment selling the debt to an offshore source of finance. Think Northern Rock as a prime example of this.
Then there's little matter of morality. Just sit on the prom at Great Yarmouth in the summer and watch the majority of families. Bunches of kids, many obviously no more than half siblings with mothers and no sign of a wedding band, the young “baby factories” with their means of accessing the Benefits System in tow, the whole thing has gone to hell in a hand-basket.
Child allowance? Ferget it. Bring in a child TAX say I.
07-08-2012, 09:28 AM
33
Re: Only Child vs Big Family
Only child here
.It was lovely, no one arguing, no hand me downs & no one to be compared to. It made me stand on my own 2 feet from a young age & made me confident. I spoke to adults nicely and mum had lots of time just for me. I loved the peace of just being myself & the dog then later my pony. We didnt need other company & friends were carefully chosen by common interests. An adopted only child, it meant I felt really special as i'd been chosen. Dad died when I was 3 & I spent most of my childhood wondering why mum married a paraplegic who in those days usually died after about 5yrs. All I could think was she knew at some stage she would end up bringing me up without him, it made me angry & sad. She did well though but I was so jealous of friends with dads not friends with siblings but as with most things I hid it well.
07-08-2012, 10:09 AM
34
Re: Only Child vs Big Family
Originally Posted by mesco m
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I wonder how many of us who have siblings, have remained close through the years.Even though there has been no animosity between us, I have only remained close to one of my brothers and his family.
Just drifted apart from the rest.
Being jealous of one's friends because they had two parents, I would think is quite a common thing with kids who lose one. My dad died when I was 7 and I felt I barely knew him. I had the advantage, however of having older brothers and the oldest of them became a kind of father figure for me. He was my go-to guy when I needed a man's view of something........... and that's still the case to this day although he's in his 80s now. I still look on him as a kind of substitute dad and trust him to give me good advice no matter what my problem is.
It's interesting to hear about life as an only child as I couldn't imagine how that would be and its very enlightening. I think when we're little and part of a big family, we imagine it as some kind of dream life..........no arguments, no jostling to be heard and most important, no hand-me-downs.
But clearly it has its advantages and disadvantages as has everything.
07-08-2012, 11:10 AM
35
Re: Only Child vs Big Family
I was the eldest of Three (still am) My brother is 18 months younger than me & then my sister is 10 years younger. Because of the age gap we've never been particularly close although we live within 1/2 hour walk from each other. She has not been down to our house for over 4 years now & if I want to see her I have to either go to her house or call into the shop where she works for a few minutes chat .My brother lives at the other side of the country & we've not seen him since my dad's funeral 8 years ago. We do email now & again ( a few times a year)
07-08-2012, 02:45 PM
36
Re: Only Child vs Big Family
Originally Posted by mazzie
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I grew up in a big family and found there were a lot of advantages but also some disadvantages. I'd be interested to hear other people's account of growing up. I was the youngest of a large family and grew up with the security of 8 brothers and sisters. It had it's down side though, especially when I got a little older and started having opinions of my own as being the littl'un, nobody thought I had anything relevant to say. There's 7 years between me and the next youngest so I had to fight all the way to be heard and to be listened to. Another disadvantage to growing up at the bottom of the pile was that clothes were very seldom new............they were more likely to be revamped hand-me-downs from big sister. Mind you, my mum was very handy with a sewing machine so they usually ended up looking quite new by the time I got them. I used to sometimes wonder how it would feel to be an only child but it was difficult for me to imagine that as our house always seemed to be full. I tended to think it would have been a bit quiet for me.
Did you grow up in a large family, medium family..........or were you an only child?
I have lost two brothers within 18 months of each other that was 5 years ago and my eldest sister died two years ago she had Alzheimer's and wouldn't eat or drink I watched her wither away which was heartbreaking as she was more of a mum than a sister. I really felt for Jimbo.
I have two sisters that live about 20 mins away from me and one in S.Africa no bus route to their! I wish she would come home as she is 75 and all on her own. She has her reasons for not coming home though.
I also have always felt like an only child due to the age gap, my siblings had to look after me and take me out to play which they hated so in return they hated me for a while anyway! Luckily that wore off once I grew up! I still feel the odd one out cos' my two sisters are very close and go out together a lot I don't get asked! Never had a new bike it was bought 2nd hand and went through two sisters before I got it rusty but still working. Still, I like being from a big family. Mum died at 62 in 1972 dad dropped dead shaving at 81. What a way to go no suffering any horrible illness.
07-08-2012, 03:26 PM
37
Re: Only Child vs Big Family
Sounds like you're in the same position as me then Kath. Bottom of the pile. My mum went to the doc when she thought she was pregnant and the doc told her it was most likely the change of life.................After having 8 kids already, I think she knew better than he did. She left his clinic in disgust, saying, "we'll wait and see then, will we." And here I am.
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