16-01-2021, 04:39 PM
31
Re: Decisions in your life
Originally Posted by Jazzi
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One decision I would definitely change, would be the one involving mum, who as most of you know, suffered a fatal brain haemorrhage following her losing control of her car, and while we were on a cruise. Instead of ASKING her, should we cancel, I should have INSISTED that we did so. The hospital doctor gave her the go ahead, none of my three siblings objected, she stubbornly said yes, we should go...so go we did.Oh my God. It was a nightmare. I often wonder how things would have turned out, had we not gone.
I will take that bad, and wrong, decision of mine to my grave.
As an objective observer, I don't think you did anything wrong and suspect that your mother would agree. You were living your life, and your mother was out living hers. If you look at the circumstances surrounding your mother's accident from the perspective of being a parent, you sure wouldn't want your children to suspend their lives for you - I know I wouldn't.
You acted very reasonably and responsibly, Jazzi. You weren't traveling without consideration, having consulted both your mom, physician, and siblings. What happened to your mom was a tragically unfortunate accident - but she was out there living her life when she had the accident, Jazzi. She was still making her own decisions, independent, and respected by her children to be self-determining. How fortunate! I suspect that she would be happy to know that she slipped out of this world with all of that dignity and freedom still in tact.
Her accident wasn't the result of your decision to travel, Jazzi. As much as we would like to think so, I don't think we have that much control over destiny. As we grow older, holding on to our parents' lives is a lot like trying to hold water in our cupped hands. There is a heartbreaking reality to it one way or the other.
In every possible way, you come across as a thoughtful, conscientious, loving, successful (in the ways that matter most) daughter - the kind of woman any mother would be very proud of. She, more than anyone, would not want you to carry this self-blame or self-doubt. If anything she would find great satisfaction and happiness in your being able to live such a rich full life.
16-01-2021, 04:47 PM
35
Re: Decisions in your life
Originally Posted by Surfermom
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There are plenty - a different vehicle, a poor choice from the menu, an appliance that broke within a year, and many times "B" not "C" on a multiple choice test. Certainly there were acts of stupidity in my life that I regret......but as for the big picture, I have too much to be grateful for to second guess the roads I have taken. All these lovely biways...
16-01-2021, 04:49 PM
37
Re: Decisions in your life
Originally Posted by summer
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I wouldn't change anything either...doesn't mean I have alwys made good decisions far from it....but making mistakes and learning from them along the way moulds the person we become ...I'm ok with that.
16-01-2021, 04:51 PM
39
Re: Decisions in your life
Originally Posted by Jazzi
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The way things have worked out for me, financially, must mean that I made the right career decisions over the years, so I don’t think I would have changed direction there.All I can think of wanting to change was my attitude and action against certain colleagues, maybe. I was treated badly in a few places, and I often lie awake at nights, thinking how should I have reacted back then, instead of the way I did.
16-01-2021, 04:54 PM
40
Re: Decisions in your life
Originally Posted by Tedc
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When moving away, to enhance a career, I'd spend a bit more time thinking about the old folk who are left behind (e.g. widowed Mothers)It could have been fixed.
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