Re: Coping with grief.
Carol, you sound a great friend!
I lost my Mum a week or so before last Xmas and although she was 96 and in a lovely care home, with all of last year being taken over with covid it was just a horrible final year of her life.
Under normal circumstances I visited her every other day, stayed for lunch with her on Saturdays, took her out in the wheelchair when the weather was good and she loved sitting out in the sheltered garden there with me.
There were a couple of months with no visits, then garden visits (depending on the weather) and then lone visits in a specially adapted large community room but there were no hugs and a glass barrier between us with us both wearing visors, masks etc and it was just awful.
She went to end of life care in Sept and hung on until a few days before Xmas and although she was beautifully and lovingly cared for by the staff it was very sad seeing her wasting away before my eyes. Obviously during these couple of months I was allowed into her room in full PPE, covid tested, temp taken etc and she did know I was with her until the last day really.
I coped by keeping busy organising funeral, doing executor duties etc and now I am writing up a full dossier on very unkind and uncaring treatment she received at a care home before she went into this one. I am getting everything off my chest and, for her sake, I will see this through and ensure they get their come uppance.
I am also looking in to reclaiming some of the vast amount of money she paid out in care home fees. We had to sell her house to pay her fees and she and my Dad went without so much to buy their ex council house, so we are not talking about a mansion!
I miss her every single day but keeping busy is my way of coping.