07-01-2017, 03:07 PM
51
Re: Hiding friendships
I always thought that in a relationship, it should be equal and no secrets from each other. I think maybe it's the deceit and the not knowing that is more hurtful than the friendship.If you are a couple, why couldn't you all meet up together? What's yours, is mine and all that!
07-01-2017, 03:17 PM
53
Re: Hiding friendships
My husband and I have never been joined at the hip, our relationship is very different to most as we have nothing in common at all. We are not romantic, or lovey dovey, but it has served us well and we have been married for 48 years this year. We only have friends we made years ago, no new ones, but plenty of friendly acquaintances.
07-01-2017, 03:28 PM
55
Re: Hiding friendships
Originally Posted by Artangel
->
I always thought that in a relationship, it should be equal and no secrets from each other. I think maybe it's the deceit and the not knowing that is more hurtful than the friendship.If you are a couple, why couldn't you all meet up together? What's yours, is mine and all that!
07-01-2017, 03:35 PM
56
Re: Hiding friendships
Originally Posted by Morticia
->
I can sort of see what Julie means ...... it's all a matter of degree.The degree of how much you trust each other, so don't feel threatened or that it compromises or endangers your own relationship.
From what you've said Julie it doesn't sound like yours are secret.
You both know you have other separate friendships.
I don't view that as a bad thing. It can suggest a respect for each other's freedom and space.
Some posts on here sound more like when one party feels threatened by another relationship .. which isn't quite the same thing.
I feel there is a big difference between having separate friendships, and secret friendships.
If a friendship is totally harmless, I don't see the need to be secretive about it.
07-01-2017, 03:35 PM
57
Re: Hiding friendships
If there was no internet, no forums, no websites guaranteeing 'relationships' of varying kinds, I suppose this question wouldn't be so relevant.Pre technology, most relationships started out with each having their own friends, then they develop their 'shared' friendships, and equally each with their 'work' friendships.
If I was in a relationship and with today's technology as it is, I would be upset and questioning if my other half had developed online 'friendships' with the opposite sex, even though I'm all for friendships with the opposite sex. It's too easy these days for folk to fall foul, no matter how 'secure' they feel their relationships are.
If we're talking an offline 'friendship' situation, then pre technology I wouldn't have minded too much.
Ok, I lie a bit. I'd probably be a tad jealous if they were drop dead gorgeous
But as life is now ..... I'd be questioning.
07-01-2017, 03:43 PM
59
Re: Hiding friendships
Originally Posted by Cosmos
->
You will only keep things secret, if your up to something, my hubby and i respect each others lives, .......Hi Art ....nice to see you ....x
What you say, is exactly right! I am not a jealous person but l don't want my nose rubbed in it!
07-01-2017, 03:49 PM
60
Re: Hiding friendships
Originally Posted by Mups
->
I feel there is a big difference between having separate friendships, and secret friendships.If a friendship is totally harmless, I don't see the need to be secretive about it.
if 35% of people admit to having a secret friendship .... all these other people who are providing it .. do they realise they are accomplices? Might be undermining someone else's security? Or aren't they bothered? Or are they scrupulously faddy and steer clear?
|
|
