Re: Jokes for blokes
The Russian circus comes to Glasgow. At the end of the show the ringmaster makes an an announcement.
"We have a special event this evening. Ivan the Terrible, a famous Russian wrestler. He has two special holds. The Half Pretzel which breaks your back. And the Full Pretzel which kills you. I'll give a hundred pounds to anyone who can go three minutes with him......."
We Hughie is out of his seat in a flash...........
"A hundred pounds......I'll dae it!"
Out comes Ivan, seems like 9ft tall, all hair and teeth grunting like an animal.......
He picks up wee Hughie .....the crowd goes silent. He bends Hughie and the crowd gasps.............
All of a sudden Ivan comes flying off cracks his head on the edge of the ring, and is knocked unconscious. The roar from the crowd could have raised the roof.
"Mr Hughie, that is amazing. It has never happened before. Can you explain?"
"Weel, Mr Ringmaster, he had me in this Pretzel thing and I could feel the life draining oota me. Then I sees this huge great willie in front o' me. So I sank my teeth intae it. Mr Ringmaster, it's amazing the surge of strength ye get when ye bite yer own willie."