Well I find myself in the same situation as I was once in before: awaiting MRI results - it didn't go so well last time.

No problems this time with arm movement but I've noticed my neck and back being very stiff outside - making it difficult to turn my head and see if any cars are coming. And my gait is different.

I'll walk what I think is a straight line but I'm actually veering to the left and have to correct myself. Similarly, in the house, I'm always misjudging distances and banging into furniture (not too painfully but enough so that I notice it.)

Tomorrow the Consultant won't have the CT scan results as I was too ill to go but he'll have my bloods and my MRI results - enough to tell him whether the original tumour has gone, or metastasised into different places. I don't feel too confident, but I should sleep tonight; I've learned to sleep when I can as I await these results. I'm exactly halfway through the R-CHOP therapy + Methotetraxe treatment so he should have some idea as to how I'm doing.

I keep telling myself that I've been here before, but I haven't - that was a far easier to treat cancer; this is something quite different.

TBH, Sweetie Pie, I'm ready for a hospice, if not soon, then at least this year. I'm having difficulty managing the ten or so steps that lead up to my house. The only time I'm truly content is when I'm asleep.

Ffosse, the test results are the worst part, I do hope it is the best news for you. I remember how nervous I was seeing the consultant last time and when I got the news that two of the tumours had shrunk, I could have kissed him! Although my CT scan is tomorrow, it is a few weeks before I see the consultant again.

Thank you Sweetie. I don’t mind who reads or answers my posts, it is so good of you to support us when I know you have worries of your own.

My latest MRI scan is good: no signs of any tumours up and down my whole spine. The Consultant did say that there was a build up of (probably) lymphatic fluid around my neck but he's not worried about it.

Then we re-arranged the CT scan which I missed to the 12th of June - that week is very busy now with 4 things on.

Tomorrow i go for my regular chemo; once it's done I'll have completed more than half the course including the Methotextrate treatment. I still wish that I didn't have to go into hospital for that again.