08-07-2016, 07:34 AM
3
Re: Swimfeeders Joke of the Day.
Hey I thought you were gonna post a joke a day.???Guess I will have to post one then.
My joke of the day.
Raisin Bread
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter.
Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely.
The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would. Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves, as he is having company for dinner.
As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view.
With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer.
Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herself. Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below.
She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you, too?"
"No," stammers the old man, "but it's a quiverin'."
08-07-2016, 08:48 AM
4
Re: Swimfeeders Joke of the Day.
HiBeware all you birdwatchers.
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comme...h_the_penguin/
08-07-2016, 11:23 AM
5
Re: Swimfeeders Joke of the Day.
HiAnother one for you.
How to start your weekend with a positive outlook
1. Open a new file in your PC
2. Name it "Michael Gove"
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of Michael Gove?"
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly.
18-07-2016, 04:29 PM
9
Re: Swimfeeders Joke of the Day.
HiThis test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
*** THE SITUATION: ***
You are in London. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot some career-making photos. There are house contents, cars and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
*** THE TEST: *** Suddenly, you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar.... You suddenly realise who it is.... It's the Tony Blair, who through his delusional actions brought the country to its knees and cost tax-payers billions, thousands of jobs where lost due to his reckless behaviour and countless innocent lives ruined.
You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options: You can save the life of Tony or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most despised, evil and once powerful man!
*** NOW THE QUESTION AND PLEASE GIVE AN HONEST ANSWER ***
Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
|
|
