Re: Does counselling really work ?

I can't remember being circumcised - but I do know it was about 9 months before I could walk upright!

Re: Does counselling really work ?

You walked that early ?

Re: Does counselling really work ?

I agree.
I thought both Keezoy's posts in this thread were excellent, and I also agree counselling won't help if the person doesn't want to be there in the first place.


I also notice this is yet another case of a sentence being given, which is then immediately halved before it even starts.

Can someone explain to me why Judges say 4 years but only two need be served?
Why not just say 2 in the first place? I shall never understand the stupid way way they sentence people.

Re: Does counselling really work ?

They can stick with us though and who is to know which ones do and which ones don't . I remember being taken out in front of the class for getting something wrong, during my first couple of weeks at school. It certainly made me timid for a long time. Afraid of giving a wrong answer .

The counselling programme ,I believe has to be referred through either GP or another , possibly a child psychologist, which means the child has had to go through all sorts of questions and answers before hand.
What a terrible start to a young life. Maybe it would be better to counsel the parents into how they should react or respond to situations which may arise through the childs early years.

Re: Does counselling really work ?

The amnesia thing didn't work for me. I have/had vivid memories from age two and a half onwards.

Of course memory is a funny thing. They find that what we remember is a version of what happened. But my vivid memories are visual and I can recall feelings at the time. So in my case I'd have a mental image of this guy's "needle" along with any fear. I didn't realise my long memory was unusual. Most kids would not remember to that level of detail but it alters your psyche. Like an imprint that can never be erased. Who knows how such an experience will be translated into behavioural influences later in life. It's impossible to predict but I don't think any amount of counselling at such a young age will remove that imprint. The most important thing is that her parents ensure she feels safe and outweigh the negative with lots of positives. In particular they should never abandon her again.

Re: Does counselling really work ?

"Does counselling really work " is the heading

it all depends on what type of counselling. While I worked for BT one of the places I went to and had the privilege of was being in with the Samaritans. No one can go and see them faces to face as their privacy is paramount as well.

These people take phone calls and listen to peoples worries. They stay anonymous and just there to help anyway they can. They don't get paid it is all voluntary work . Just hearing them talk and help given out I have to take my hat off to them

Even when I finish the work there I came away not knowing any names apart from the contact I was given

Re: Does counselling really work ?

Re Annie and Puddleduck's comments : I think working with children is one of if not THE most difficult and sensitive areas in counselling. I too am in 2 minds as to whether counselling in it's usual forms is of any use in helping a traumatised child. As was suggested by one of you I think the paramount thing is that the child feel safe and protected. I don't mean smothered physically or emotionally. Being crowded even if it's with the most protective intentions, could be the last thing they need. The other thing that I agree with here is that it's the parents or carers that need to expert advice and support. I suffered some traumatic events when I was a kid. I was very lucky in that my parents were supported and advised wisely on how to handle me. I remember it vividly. I din't want to talk to anybody apart from my Mum and Dad and my Sister.

Re: Does counselling really work ?

That's the danger isn't it. That the child will be smothered and imbibed with anxiety transferred from parents along with their guilt and anger at themselves.

I totally agree Keezoy that it's the parents who need the counselling rather than this poor mite. The child is psychologically stronger in many ways. I think we are born with emotional padding that life slowly strips away.

It's heartening to read though that this child felt sufficiently trusting of her parents to tell them what happened. That in itself indicates there's a good relationship and is promising for her healthy development despite this.

Sorry about your trauma. It's good that you had such great support at the time.

Re: Does counselling really work ?

THanks so much Annie. Yes it was hard at the time but I came out of it reasonably unscathed thankfully. I never had counselling as such. Just lots of love and understanding. I'll never forget it though. You just learn to live with things if you're taught to do it the right way. I guess.

Re: Does counselling really work ?

Started to apparently. I remember the floor coming up and hitting me many times - never tell over you understand!