Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

we're just a load of old farts around here anyway!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Yes Gummy, Let's get ready to Rumble.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I think we could be on a roll again??


There was a man with terrible bowels
He would rumble and rumble and howls
When he let out a fart it sounded real smart
Like an ak ak gun on the prowl

He took purges and purges galor
Would sit on the loo till twas sore
But although he could rumble, could not get to the tumble
He grew larger and larger for sure

The doctor he took himself to
Who did hum and did hah till was blue
Then produced a red tube that was suitably lubed
And approached Mr spits who’s alarm grew

Now lean over chair over there
I’ve only the one have no spares
So must get it right ; close ya eyes ever real tight
We’ll clear those rumbles alright

Well the screams could be heard far and near
As white knuckles clutched to the chair
Doc said ‘I’ve only just started and no one has farted
As he poured in the suds with a flair

Well the screams turned to a face of surprise
As the water level started to rise
He thought he was floating, but doc said ‘no ya bloatin’
Now don’t let it out as surprise’

The end of this story is fuzzy
As the tube was removed with a flurry
There was a mighty of roars
And the doc hit the floor
And was covered a wonderful slurry

© gumbud

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

What a drop, we’ve gone from being smart arses to boring old farts in the space of a few posts.

By God Gummy you struck a vein of pure gold on that one, you set the bar high there, who knows what we’ll get when you hit the mother load, if it’s in the same vein I’ll be wearing plenty of waterproof gear when the real shit hits the fan.
The wife wouldn’t let me near the washing machine when it refused to discharge the used water, I said there was something simple wrong with the thing but she insisted on calling out Mr. Wonderful, her electrical expert, it cost he 90 euros for him to take out an elastic band that was caught in the tube, and I could have done that for nothing, oh she of little faith.

Pug come back, all is forgiven and the fatted calf is being roasted as I speak.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Aren't kids horrible to each other, eh?

In our infant class we called each other by nicknames, some of them enduring throughout the schooLdays.

One poor lad was called Fatty, to his face & no one blinked. A mentally disabled girl ( actually a congenital pinhead) was called " Stink touch". She had little to make her life easier. the family bath was used to store coal, water was from a well in the field, the privy was a two holer at the bottom of the garden. Sad to say she died quite young having thrown herself down the well in a fit of rage.

Where was I?

Oh yes, Stinky Carol was friends with Sonia (posh) & Maisie, a girl who had 2 mangled legs the legacy of early Polio.
Three girls/ best friends/impossible. They fought, screamed. bit & regularly left tufts of hair, scalp attached, in their wake. To finish then I must elaborate on Sonia for she was everybody's idol possessing all the things we boys craved ....hairy arms, muscles and 5 o clock shadow.
She once took me aside saying "I'll show you my knickers for a bite of your toffee apple" I later discovered she didn't wear knickers, but then again fair play I had no toffee apple either (she offered to lend me 3pence to go buy one. yuk . Derek & Dennis one of 4 sets of twins in our class had fallen for her charms, noting afterwards
That is a darn silly place to keep a hamster.


PS remind me tomorrow to elaborate upon Sonia & her fur coat

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I used to wonder what had happened to the young folks, who came at it with a "Slant", I think most disappeared down the "Slippery Slope".

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

ya a foul mouth lizard lanky RJ and I'll never share me bubble gum wiv ya agen - stinky carol was me girlfriend - the gang will get ya after school

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I'll grant you VULGAR Gummy, but not foulmouthed.
BTW, your gang is 62 years too late

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Can you put that another way pls Spitty

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Yes RJ it would appear that children at that time were even more cruel than they are today, but I wonder if it’s not a natural thing, a part of growing up, helping to toughen us up for the life ahead.
Children’s entertainment at that time, mostly the comics, almost encouraged slagging off fat boys and girls, take Billy Bunter and his well built sister Betty Bunter, very popular with all kids, there were very few fat people then and fat was always associated with greedy eating, you also had Desperate Dan and his huge cow pies horns and al, Dan had a huge belly and you could hardly see his tiny gun in it's holster on his hip.
The comics of the time featured many tricks and pranks that if you played them today you’d be put away with half a dozen ‘specialists’ probing you to find out where you went wrong. There was the exploding cigars, the vile smelling stink bombs, the bucket of water delicately balanced above the classroom door waiting for the master to open it, the quick drying cement, the super strong quick glue, leaving manhole covers off, the catapults, etc.
All this didn’t turn us into sadistic maniacs when we grew up, it taught us that shit happens and you just have to accept it and get on with your life.