07-09-2018, 03:09 PM
10461
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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My names Carmen because I like cars and men,..... yeah, and my names Lager Fa**y.
07-09-2018, 07:05 PM
10462
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
THE PRINCESS AND MEOnce upon a time a beautiful Royal Princess called Gilliana van der Webb was sent on a special work experience placement at Grace Brothers Emporium.
Working in the same building and incognito was the owners youngest son, Roberto Le Grace.
Young Roberto was also engaged in work experience. He loved meeting all the common & vulgar people.
Unknown to Roberto was the true identity of Gilliana, although she didn’t seem at all common, vulgar yes, common no. If only he could stop her breaking wind regularly she could easily be a Princess. Little did he know.
One day she was moved from the Queens Restaurant to the Princess Lounge. A sign if ever there was one.
Roberto found any excuse to pass by the cash desk to snatch a coy smile from his secret love. His department manager thought he must have a weak bladder. (It was small not weak, but that’s another story)
Roberto was moved up to the same floor as Gilliana in the September of 1967 and Roberto was creating a display of cushions one day & it gave him an idea. He waited until she had taken her cash float to the counting house & sneaked across to her chair and put a nice cushion on it.
The next day she couldn’t get comfortable at all.
Roberto was not only super intelligent but astute, very cleverly he had put a foreign coin under her smart new cushion. She guessed straight away that her seat had been tampered with and looked across to her admirer, all the while suppressing a fart. Fate was kind to her because Florrie the cleaner passed by with a heavy duty vacuum cleaner. While Gilliana sighed a sigh of relief, Florrie stopped the cleaner and after examining it careful for blockages sighed when it returned to normal sound levels.
Gilliana dreamed that Roberto might be someone important, even though he was common and vulgar, combing his hair in public & wearing ghastly winkle picker pointed shoes, However he had a nicesmile (his best feature), a good suit and would more than likely scrub up quite well. Love would find a way.
Every time she went into the staff canteen she was at one surrounded by ardent admirers , for she was truly beautiful, but they were all so coarse and rough, and had leather patches on their jacket elbows.
Some of them were in the habit of wiping their noses on their sleeves , which from a distance looked like glitter or even lurex, how wrong that assumption was. Remember, glam rock came a decade later.
Roberto found a way to meet Gilliana by bribing one of the gang to vacate his seat ,adjacent to her as he approached. It worked like a dream and they found themselves sat close to one another at last..
My epitaph "was that it then ?
07-09-2018, 07:26 PM
10466
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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I just wish to apologise to the patrons at the ABC Cinema, Bristol Road, Birmingham, circa January 1974, present at the screening of "The Sting"
07-09-2018, 07:32 PM
10468
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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I may post it when my decorum levels are waning.
07-09-2018, 08:51 PM
10469
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Superb RJ, by God man your on top form with that one, most enjoyable.Do spill the beans Spitty, but not if it's the one about the popcorn bag, utterly disgusting.
Remember JR "I'm in Oil" Ewing"from Dallas?
A few short comparisons, the self important bragging to those who couldn’t care less.
My name is Rufus van Rosen, and I’m in Oil.
My name is Jem and I was once in Greece, but never in Oil.
My name is Benjamin Taylor, and I’m in Textiles
My name is Fred Blogs, and I’m in Rags.
My name is Albert Jennings, and I’m in Stocks and Shares.
My name is Frank and I’m a mechanic, I’m in Crocks and Spares.
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