22-06-2021, 12:01 AM
2291
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Primus1
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The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.They said, "Is this your wife sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she has been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality!"
22-06-2021, 07:56 AM
2293
Re: Let's have a laugh
Guy has to go to see a Doctor. He had been on a business trip to the far east and fancied a bit of oriental like men do...returns back home after a rather enjoyable business trip...back to the Doc... Shows him the problem and the Doc says oh dear, as rare as it is..without doubt Mongolian VD...Sorry but amputation is the cure for that...He goes off cap in hand ..Decides on a 2nd Opinion..2nd Doctor says exactly the same diagnosis...Sorry but you know don't you..Mongolian VD..yes the Guy says nervously now...Doctor cant have my plonker amputated..cant just cant..Doctor says don't worry about that...wait 2 weeks and fall off on it's own...
22-06-2021, 10:15 AM
2295
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Richmond
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Fashion disaster - black knee pads and white socks!Attachment 16030
Why on earth do that? It's not as if it's worth boasting about!
22-06-2021, 11:34 AM
2296
Re: Let's have a laugh
A couple are woken up in the middle of the night by a loud banging on the front door. The husband scrambles out of bed and rushes down to see who it is at 3am in the morning. At the door is a drunk who asks 'Can you give me a push?' 'Bugger off' says the husband and slams the door in his face.'Who was that?' asks the wife as he is getting back into bed. 'It was some drunk asking for a push, I told him to bugger off.'
'Well that's nice' said the wife, 'remember when we broke down and those guys came along and helped us? You shoul have helped and you should be ashamed of yourself.'
So the husband gets up, gets dressed and goes outside the house into the pitch black.
'Hello, Are you still there?'
'Yes'
'I have come to give you a push, where are you?'
'Over here..... on the swing.'
22-06-2021, 11:58 AM
2297
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Longdogs
->
A couple are woken up in the middle of the night by a loud banging on the front door. The husband scrambles out of bed and rushes down to see who it is at 3am in the morning. At the door is a drunk who asks 'Can you give me a push?' 'Bugger off' says the husband and slams the door in his face.'Who was that?' asks the wife as he is getting back into bed. 'It was some drunk asking for a push, I told him to bugger off.'
'Well that's nice' said the wife, 'remember when we broke down and those guys came along and helped us? You shoul have helped and you should be ashamed of yourself.'
So the husband gets up, gets dressed and goes outside the house into the pitch black.
'Hello, Are you still there?'
'Yes'
'I have come to give you a push, where are you?'
'Over here..... on the swing.'
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