11-04-2021, 09:47 PM
16471
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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Never been a Guinness fan (on its own) always found it had a bitter after taste, I know Jem will call this sacrilege but, I used to enjoy a couple of Guinness's and Barley Wines in equal measure.
in the company of the old lads I drink with we almost all drink the same drink, pints of Guinness so I’m used to ordering pints only when it comes my round, nice clean little neat orders which no stupid names with cherries or paper umbrellas on top of skinny stemmed glasses.
It’s only at night time when the women come out with us that it gets tricky and confusing with all the queer named drinks they choose, although I’m lucky my missus drinks a pint same as me.
I remember being at a party in a pub I was not familiar with, it was in a swanky part of the South side.
There are two popular brands of Irish whiskey with some women here, one is a Northern Ireland brand called Black Bushmills and the other is a 15 year old whiskey made down here by Jameson’s called Redbreast.
When it came my turn to get them in I wrote the order on the inside flap of a cigarette packet, I had a few on me and was liable to forget, then went up to the busty barmaid who was up to her eyes pulling pints.
“Hello miss, I’ll give you the pint order first, could I have three pints of Guinness and a pint of Smithwicks ale please”
When she had the pints pulled she asked me what was next, i consulted the ciggy pack and said.
“Ah yes, I’ll have two large Redbreasts and a small Black Bush”
“You cheeky old devil!” she smiled.
“They’re not for me miss, they’re for those three women sitting over there at my table”
“Oh! it’s for them is it, well I suppose anything goes these days eh” and she burst out laughing.
Everyone sitting at the bar heard her too, I was never more embarrassed in all me life, fancy drinks how are yeh.
If you don’t believe me here they are, I’ve just checked and a bottle of Redbreast is now €60, and the Black Bush is €33.
12-04-2021, 10:49 PM
16474
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Talking about tippling is one of my favourite topics as I’m sure you know by now, but it’s not everyones, so before I hang it up I have to mention the old ‘silent pints’, those who sup on the sly while going about condemning all those who openly enjoy a few jars and are not ashamed to admit it.I’m reminded of one ‘Secret tippler’ or ‘House muddler’ as they used to be called, and poor old Mrs Hannigan fell into that category.
A widow from her early thirties on, who took to the bottle secretly when her husband fell to his death from a high building he was working on in Belfast.
She became over religious and you daren’t use any swear words around her or she would bring all the saints and angels down on you to condemn you to everlasting flames.
She used to supervise the church cleaning and flower arranging, up at the crack of dawn every day, breakfast, most likely a liquid one, then into one of her tweed suits and off to the church to get the other helpers organised.
Nobody knew she even drank, until one Summers evening when she collapsed while dragging out the old metal dustbin to the front gate, an ambulance was called only to discover that she was about 8 times over the bin dragging limit with alcohol, absolutely stoned.
She never lived that down, her secret was out and all over the area in no time, they used to refer to her from then on as “Dicey Hannigan” (a reference to the famous tippler Dicey Reilly in that old song)
When she eventually passed on the couple who bought her house discovered thousands of empty “
A Winter’s Tale” sherry bottles shallowly buried all over the garden, you could say she had a glass bottomed garden.
Poor soul, the shame played a big part in her demise I’d imagine, she was a very proud woman, rest her soul.
The song ‘Dicey Reilly’ (below) was written by Dominic Behan brother of playwright Brendan Behan, Dominic wrote many songs including ‘Liverpool Lou’, and wrote several plays for BBC TV and radio, he died aged 60 in 1969.
Was Dicey Reilly a real person? was Molly Malone? who knows, but I knew a few women like Dicey and one real life woman who sold fish from a hand cart outside the church every Friday morning, all caught in Dublin bay earlier that morning, but she would say that wouldn’t she.
14-04-2021, 10:29 PM
16475
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
One thing I dislike is technical people who go on and on about what they do, no harm of course being proud of what you do, but because you love your work doesn’t mean everyone else loves it or even understands it, but to continuously harp on is too much for me to take.I only talk shop when I’m asked about it or when I have to mention it in the course of telling a yarn, you have to consider how boring it can be to others.
I remember when I was in my forties back in the early 90’s, next to the workshop where I was employed at the time was a big electrical store, one of the technicians there was a fella called Wilfred, I’ll never forget that name, no need to describe him, when you meet a Wilfred you’ll know he’s a Wilfred cos they all look exactly as you imagined a Wilfred would, yeh can’t go wrong.
Every evening when I finished me days work I would pop into the pub across the road to relax and read the paper.
When Wilfred finished his work, (he was always last out of the shop, Wilfreds always are), he would come into the pub and sit beside me, it was hell to have to listen to him rabbiting on an on about the latest electrical gadgets and how they work, I even changed me pub but he soon found out and followed me there, that’s one of the downsides of being a good listener, some folks take full advantage of it and forget to shut up.
Eventually he moved on to greener pastures and I could enjoy me quiet pint again, free at last I thought.
The following Spring found me in the old Gresham hotel at a trades fair, our stand was on the top floor, we had a good day with the sales and closed up the stand at 6pm. I then headed for the lift and when the lift door opened there in front of me stood… Wilfred!.
“Going down?, good so am I hop in” he smiled.
The lift lowered one floor then suddenly stopped and everything went silent... except Wilfred, Christ almighty I was stuck in a lift with the country’s biggest technical chatterbox, I was only fit to be tied when the firemen finally freed us two hours later, Wilfred was still talking to a fireman explaining how to set the timing on his new video recorder.
What’s the point of telling you this? no point really, just to pass on a bit of old fashioned advice.
“Beware of Geeks sharing lifts”.
17-04-2021, 10:32 PM
16477
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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Just put an Advert out there looking for work as a freelance Quantum Physicist, made it clear "No Job Too Small".
Good one Spitty.I just saw an ad here for the new artificial ski slope that’s opening in July.
“Qualified Ski instructors on site for tuition, safety gear provided, fees will be operated on a sliding scale.
Naturally.
“Neuralink said that a nine-year-old macaque, Pager, has successfully used a brain implant to move a cursor on a screen without using a joystick.”
I remember Fr. O’Mara at the old parish hall when there was teenage dancing going on, he would patrol the hall making sure the couples weren’t too close together, all the fellas hands were visible, and if anyone was using bad language. He was better than that monkey, he could move a curser to shame with one flash of his gimlet eye.
But it’s a huge breakthrough for science, wonder what will come of that for the future of mankind.
That monkey’s name ‘Pager’ rings a bell, wasn’t he editor of the Sun a few years ago?
Just seen tonight that they have produced half monkey and half human embryos, it was bound to happen sooner or later, all the scientists involved in the ‘Dolly’ the sheep project have been very quiet over the years, ne’er a bleep outa them in 20 years, very suspicious don’t you think, you can’t take your eyes off these apprentice Frankensteins for a second before they get up to more mischief.
God only knows what other monsters they have hidden away that we don’t hear about, once a scientist has the know how he just has to try it out.
What will they call this new creation, a ‘Mankey’, no doubt the posh snobs will call it a ‘Menkey?
“Reginald and have I have adopted one of those new creations, a Menkey, quite fashionable now you know, we call it Hudson and Reggie is having it trained as a butler, it’s so hard to find the right domestics these days”
Just wait till the Mankeys seek equality, then the shit will really hit the fan.
Beware, here come the Mankeys!
19-04-2021, 10:01 PM
16478
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
I heard Israel is heading for herd immunity, when that happens the virus eventually stops spreading or so I believe, you can mix and match as much as you like, happy days are there again, good luck to them.Talking of herds, norra lorra people know that Buffalo Bill caught brucellosis from buffalo meat he ate while eliminating the great herds of Bison in the old west, Bill Cody is purported to have killed 4,282 buffalo in eighteen months in 1867 and 1868, that’s a lorra hides and steaks, but Bill got over his brucellosis in six months, it practically wiped out the Buffalo.
Isn’t it great when you have a go at spelling a word you don’t normally use and it turns out to be correct, no big red line appearing, cheating the speller thing out of a smug pounce gives one a warm feeling, especially with medical words which can be awkward at the best of times, it just happened to me with the word ‘brucellosis’, made my day that did, yes I know I’m easily amused.
What concerns us though is the human herd, we have already lost 3 million in less than 18 months.
Our opinions are formed about this plague by what you heard and what the herd heard, and if you refuse to run with the herd you’ll never be heard.
I can’t explain it, but I’ll let a former World leader unravel it for you.
"Herd mentality... It's like a herd..." __ Donald J. Trump on coronavirus herd immunity.
So there you have it in half a nutshell, wise words them Mr, President, and by the way thanks for all the many laughs you provided me with over the past four years.
He heard the call of the herd, and the herd heard him, then the herd stampeded the White House and now some of the herd are rounded up and corralled waiting to be heard again…in court.
Who released the Kracken!
What goes around comes around, now where have I heard that?
21-04-2021, 10:24 PM
16480
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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Plonk all the blame on Douglas Hurd, seems sort of fitting.
Some companies and organisations used to hire an ‘ideas man/woman’ to freshen up their products and fund raising activities.
We also had batches of collected ideas men all squashed into a thing they called a ‘think tank’ where they stayed until they had a bulb moment, the idea behind the think tank was that two or more minds are better than one, but only governments and the multi national companies could afford think tanks.
Wonder did anyone ever drown or get water on the brain in a think tank, my old granny used to say a person could drown in a basin of water.
I don’t know what they call ideas men or think tanks now but they still have the equivalent, the governments of these isles seem to be obsessed with seeking out bright young things to sort out all our problems, I’m pleased to say they contributed greatly in arranging the vaccine rollout, very well organised and well done to all the thinkers involved.
I often wondered how these people were paid, was it piece rate?, like if they had an idea and it didn’t work out would they get no lolly?, or if on the other hand one of their ideas took off big time would they be amply rewarded?’
How many ideas were they expected to come up with during say a 12 month contract etc.?
It seems to be all very complicated to me as I’ve never met an ideas man.
Oh I tell a lie, there was the night in the local when we were in our twenties, the wife was wearing hot pants and looking great, ah those were the days, we were sitting up at the bar on high stools and I could tell the barman was getting ideas about the wife as he wound his way around the tables picking up empty glasses, that’s the only time I met an ideas man and I told him if he had any ideas to keep them to himself or I’d knock his block off.
My one and only thinking cell came up with an idea to thank all the young people of this country who sacrificed two of the best years of their lives during this plague.
When all the dust is settled why not the government finance a series of free concerts for them all, the Phoenix Park can accommodate hundreds of thousands, and I’m sure Bono and all his showbiz friends would gladly offer their services for free, after all it was young folks who put them where they are today.
We are so much in hock now that another billion or two wouldn’t make any difference, we owe our young at least that little treat, in my humble opinion.
But I don’t suppose that idea would go down well with all the young people haters and tight fisted old grumps we have around these days, who seem to forget they were young themselves once.
Yes the Bossa Nova was my downfall Spitty.
“I was at a dance when he caught my eye
Standin' all alone lookin' sad and shy
We began to dance, swaying' to and fro
And soon I knew I'd never let him go…”
All alone lookin’ sad and shy, that was me alright.
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