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23-04-2019, 08:27 PM
14811

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

PHONES:

I got an answering machine. Now callers can hear a busy signal when they call and I'm out.

"Hello this is my answer machine. If you're looking to buy weed, wait for the beep and press the Hash Key."

"Hi. If you're a burglar casing the place, we can't come to the phone right now. We're cleaning our weapons."

"Hi, I'm probably home. I like to check out callers I don't like. Leave a message and if I don't call back, well you can guess why ..."
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23-04-2019, 08:29 PM
14812

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

HOSPITALS

A wife is visiting her husband in hospital "Darling," he says anxiously "They obviously have no idea what's wrong with me."

"Why do you say that darling?"
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"Because there is a Suggestion Box at the end of my bed."
_____________

A ward nurse answers the phone and the caller asks:
"Can you tell me how Mr. Bloggs is in bed 7 please?"

"Certainly, Mr Bloggs is now out of danger and recovering well. Who is this please?"
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"It's Mr Bloggs in Bed 7. Nobody tells me anything."
________________

Due to a Urology error, orange juice is off the breakfast menu.
________________

Nurse to patient: "They're bringing in a case of diarrhea."
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*
*
Patient "Can't be worse than the coffee here!"
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23-04-2019, 08:58 PM
14813

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Well, it’s good to have a few stalwarts back on board has been quite quiet of late.
I feel for your loss Jem it’s a growing whammy of getting on in years.
I have taken to avoiding funerals, I want to remember my peers as full of life, mebbe thats the point of celebratory send offs..

I mean no offence & certainly not flippant like my pals in the old Working men’s club near here . Within a year of joining them, they had all passed on, ,mostly anyway
There was George, who used to beat his wife, who had the last laugh when she inherited 3 houses from HIS mother.
Harry, a Reggie Kray lookalike, he regularly downed 11 pints lunchtime too., Neville who kept tabs at the bar
David who regularly siphoned off the pound charge for visitors on games nights.It was all wasted on the one armed bandits.
Harry Taylor aged 94, who helped me compile a centenary book of the club.. He had a photographic memory.
My ex SIL father, Bert. He had been a force to be reckoned with in the docks, THE shop steward, hde also served as club chairman for25 years. When his wife committed suicide he moved in with Grace next door and they lived until they were both 96. The club had closed & they just didn’t get out of bed again.
I have lost my drift but enjoyed remembering my mates, more later.
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23-04-2019, 09:57 PM
14814

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

It might just be me, but, maybe Scribblers are Clearing the Decks.
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23-04-2019, 10:27 PM
14815

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
It might just be me, but, maybe Scribblers are Clearing the Decks.
We are not onboard yet.
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23-04-2019, 11:32 PM
14816

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Today,as I was at the end of the avenue my friend Chris lived in,I saw a horse-drawn hearse leaving his house,complete with coffin,flowers,mourners,etc....now,this both amazed and somewhat concerned me,as I attended his funeral last week!!! WTF?????
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23-04-2019, 11:32 PM
14817

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Good Night everyone.
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23-04-2019, 11:33 PM
14818

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Originally Posted by Pug ->
Today,as I was at the end of the avenue my friend Chris lived in,I saw a horse-drawn hearse leaving his house,complete with coffin,flowers,mourners,etc....now,this both amazed and somewhat concerned me,as I attended his funeral last week!!! WTF?????
How bizzare Pugsy.
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23-04-2019, 11:35 PM
14819

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Yes,indeed it was. I didn't go scooting up to ask WTF....bit having seen his coffin interred,it was something of a shock.
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24-04-2019, 12:31 PM
14820

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Originally Posted by Pug ->
Yes,indeed it was. I didn't go scooting up to ask WTF....bit having seen his coffin interred,it was something of a shock.
I would have been the same Pugsy.
 



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