Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Hubby said he doesn't hate anyone but there are a few people he dislikes intensely .. it's doing the bread dough good .. he is taking it out on kneading it!
Forgiveness is very difficult sometimes, impossible too, especially when it involves forgiving something done to your mum ... but I don't hate.

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

You are right Wrinkly. I could have been more imaginative and used words like ..
have .contempt for,
loathe,
detest
feel repulsed by
abhor
bores my bottom off...

But my dislike of others is a reflection of my own self-loathing based on lack of assertiveness. If I could just nip problems in the bud, early in relationships, there would be less agony later. Relationships for me always have a honeymoon period followed by a gradual decline based on overfamiliarity. Just tend to let my guard down too much and regret it later. Overdisclosure and regrets after.."oh I shouldn't have told her that about myself"

OK; before I bore all your bottoms off...

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

No I do that all the time. I'm a classic neurotic! It's high time I asked what I'm doing right!

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Sounds like you've had a really hard time Pat, which I'm sorry to hear. My problems are miniscule in comparison. I've had a lot of good fortune in life so I need to be more grateful!

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Dont agree with 'Uff' on this .....there are a number of reasons why - if - someone doesn't like you, 'their' problem.... As long as you are true to yourself, never betray that ......

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Well said - this would follow my theory on detesting someone (I don't think I've ever really hated anyone).

Some people we are just not going to get along with - maybe the chemistry is just wrong; it may not be that we have done something to that person, it's just that the link isn't there between us and that's fine too; as long as they remain civil.

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

I am struggling to think of someone who I have really hated. Disliked yes and I have felt contempt and a strong dislike, but I can't think I have truly hated anyone. I think if I hated someone then I would have to do something about it and that would probably mean some sort of retaliation or revenge. I also wonder if hatred is often accompanied by fear (which is something Shakespeare said).
If I really dislike someone I find the best way for me to cope with my feelings is to cultivate an indifference towards them, then they can't touch you. One you don't care hate or dislike can fade away. Hating someone inevitably hurts the hater even if they don't appreciate it and I think hate should be dealt with otherwise it festers and destroys. I think if I realised someone hated me I would be upset and would try to find out and understand the reason/s for the hatred.

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

There's a big difference between doesn't like and hate. I don't like quite a few people but I don't hate them.

I would have thought that if one hated someone they must have done something dreadfully wrong to cause such a feeling.

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Maybe you're right, because 'hate' is such a strong word, dislike probably, there are people I dislike and they feel the same for me - so what ! I wont lose sleep its not like I've lost a dear friend - because if it were a dear friend, it would not have come to such feeling .....

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Me neither, if someone doesn't like me I'm sorry about it but I don't lose sleep. I'm me and have good points as well as bad. I'm aware of what my failings are.