Open Letter to Santa Claus

Dear Santa Baby..

This has been a year full of challanges. But, despite all the crap that was thrown at me, I think I have been a good boy this year. I did not go out of my way to bullshit anyone as far as bullshit goes.So, I expect you will not take it upon yourself to leave me coals as a gift. Although fuel prices the way they are it might in the end not be a bad idea.

I will confess to you that I am a bit pissed off at you because my letters or requests have been ignored. Man to man, Santa Baby, I do hope this year you will make an exception.So, I have high hopes that you will jam something worthwhile in my smelly stocking this year.

So, what do I want for Christmas this year ? Desperate as I am, I will say, peace and goodwill for all the nations of the world. You are not buying that, are you ? Don't bullshit a bullshitter, right ? So, let me keep it real..

What do I really want for Christmas ? Its quite simple. Some earplugs so I can block out all the complaints, whines and insults I hear on a daily basis. I'd also like a sturdy object to cram up the ass of my cat so it stops crapping on my bed. And last but not least, money, lots of money. That should not be too difficult for you, in the long run its just paper.

In closing, I do hope you find yourself my way this coming season. If you don't show up, trust me when I say, that I will not believe your fantasy trip anymore. If you do exist, you need to re-target the market to include a more mature demographic. Because if you haven't noticed, its not the kids that keep you in business its the adults.And really, it wouldn't be hard to find someone else to put on a dumb ass red suit, stick on a beard and work one day a year. Get what I'm saying, Gramps !

Sorry for my bad language and tough honesty I am just trying to reach you Santa. So yeah, all the best, Merry Christmas and all that good stuff.

Rodolfo

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

Well I never !
To think you brought out the posh side of me
Well no more - I feel cheated
So Santa, give this boy a book on 'being true to oneself and not to fool anybody with lyrical lines in future'

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

Thank you for reading, Patsy

Ho...Ho..Ho and a Merry Christmas to ya

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

Well with all the abuse and naughty words that was put in that letter, I will not be surprised if dear old Santa gives you a miss this year.
Although I would second your request for peace in our time. Santa if you do read these posts. Go talk to your boss and see what can be arranged. It's not a personal request but for everyone in this planet.
Have a nice day.

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

With what you wanted for your cat he may give you a sturdy object to use on yourself as I have it on good authority Santa loves animals.

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

Yep - he will agree with you I'm sure

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

Santa is just as human as you and me. I am sure when he is delivering his goodies, gets lost, makes a wrong left turn or his deer are misbehaving, he will say a bad word or two.

Ho..Ho..Ho.. a Merry Christmas to ya

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

Cool it Painter or you'll get stuffed instead of the turkey.

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

[QUOTE=Julie1962; Santa loves animals.
I woundn’t be too sure about that Julie, if he loves animals so much why does he make those poor reindeer haul tons of toys all over the World in terrible weather, I’m surprised the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals hasn’t put a stop to it ages ago.

Re: Open Letter to Santa Claus

You are right. I think my cat is trying to tell me something. I changed his food, so maybe,I need to go back to the old stuff. I will do that today and hopefully my cat will be his old self again. Like leaving a dead bird or mouse on my door step as a gift.

Ho..Ho..Ho. a Merry Christmas to ya