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swimfeeders
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Yesterday, 04:07 PM
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Autistic Children.

Hi

A challenge at times.

They are vey focused on things.

I got Jacob what he wanted, a Telescope to see the moon.

He no longer wants is

He wants me to buy it back from hm.

Much as I love him, he needs to know the realites of life.

I have offered him 20 for it, he wants the purchase price, 100

A hard esson to learn.
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Mups
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Yesterday, 04:17 PM
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Re: Autistic Children.

I would be surprised if a child who is bored with his pressy and wants to flog it, has anything to do with autism?
Lots of kids get fed up with their toys quickly, and want something else instead.

To be honest, I wouldn't offer to buy it back either.
I would prefer to teach him to realise someone had thought about him, and gone to the trouble of buying him a nice present.
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Twink55
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Yesterday, 04:33 PM
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Re: Autistic Children.

Mups is right Swim!

I appreciate that Autistic Children can be difficult but they still need to learn that a gift is an act of kindness, so perhaps his mum should tell him or see if she can help him sell it!
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LongDriver
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Yesterday, 04:46 PM
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Re: Autistic Children.

That brief description come across to me as Asperger's and rather like on of my grandsons. He is now 22 going on 23 and has learnt some harsh lessons, but definately gained from the experiences and soon grasped he should never repeat the failed try-ons. His employer rapidly got the measure of him with some careful patience and detailed explanations, turned him into someone eager to learn and productive.
With Asperger's, explanations are not only necessary but also essential to prevent resentments building.
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Surfermom
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Yesterday, 05:07 PM
5

Re: Autistic Children.

It's a teachable moment, but that said, it might be difficult, as LongDriver mentioned. If below is too complex for him to understand, just don't reinforce his inappropriate behavior:

Autistic children struggle with social norms and feelings. You have to teach them the cues and feelings that they struggle to understand.

Try talking to him about the following in snippets if he has trouble engaging with you for very long. You might have to overemphasize your feelings, but that will help him understand what he can't pick up intuitively.

Explain that the telescope was a gift from the heart - something you knew he would be excited about. Describe how you felt when you purchased it and gave it to him. Tell him that it is ok to grow tired of a gift and even get rid of it, but that it is important not to hurt the feelings of the person you gave it to, and that he has done just that.

Tell him that it was very honest of him to talk to you about why he didn't want the telescope anymore, but there was a better way to handle the situation. Walk through how it would be better to solve a problem like this next time - like thanking you for the gift, offering it to you outright, asking for your help in finding it a new home - but never asking anyone to buy a gift back. Explain how asking a gift giver to buy a present back is both impolite and hurtful.

You might also show him that in addition to this being impolite, he would be asking you to pay for the scope - twice.

The most important thing is that you don't reinforce asking people to buy back gifts, or he will do it again.

These are big and hard, if not impossible, lessons to learn that most of us pick up without thought while we are growing up. He may not be able to grasp all of this, but he knows you well, so it is worth a try.
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Muddy
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Yesterday, 05:12 PM
6

Re: Autistic Children.

Originally Posted by Mups ->
I would be surprised if a child who is bored with his pressy and wants to flog it, has anything to do with autism?
Lots of kids get fed up with their toys quickly, and want something else instead.

To be honest, I wouldn't offer to buy it back either.
I would prefer to teach him to realise someone had thought about him, and gone to the trouble of buying him a nice present.
I think you are right Mups autistic children can be brats too!
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carol
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Derbyshire.
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Yesterday, 05:29 PM
7

Re: Autistic Children.

MY 8 year old grandson Josh is Autistic. We all love him to bits.

His mummy Paula posted this..

We have a son as special as can be,
A loud and adventurous boy to me.
Beautiful and strong, he takes on the fight,
One that takes all of his strength and his might.

He may not always look at you, or listen to you when you call.
But he’s taking it all in, your whispers, your laughs, your stares and all.

You see, he is a big boy with toddler ways, screaming and shouting when he doesn’t get his “own way”
That’s what you think he just wants his “own way”, But he’s figuring out the world, his emotions are so confusing.

The sensory things..we don’t have a clue,
How they drive our boy crazy..If only you knew.
The world around him, the overload and the smells,
It pains him inside, it drives him to hell.

He will run and try and hide and harm from the pain that he’s in,
He’s fighting a battle..he’s just trying to win!
Your put yourself in his shoes, you’ll see what a fighter he is.

If you want to look, look at his eyes,
They are his window to what’s inside.
He’s scared and frustrated, please try and see past,
what you seem to think of my..”little brat”

He’s NO brat you should see.
The boy who wants friends, and to be a part of a team.
Standing there struggling, it’s not what it seems.

He can’t understand the rules of your game,
When all the wires are crossed In his brain.
But give him a chance and you will see,
he’s not naughty or weird, he is just he.

A beautiful mind, full of hopes and dreams
Just like us, no different it seems.

Understand don’t criticise on what you see,
Understand our boy, he’s a hero you see.
We are proud parents, our hero is he.
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Muddy
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Yesterday, 05:32 PM
8

Re: Autistic Children.

Carol I have an autistic grandchild too .
But it’s doesn’t mean they have to be bad mannered
To live in this world they too have to learn that somethings are not right .
If they kid is bright enough to know the price of a present he’s bright enough to have good manners.
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spitfire
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Yesterday, 05:39 PM
9

Re: Autistic Children.

Originally Posted by Muddy ->
Carol I have an autistic grandchild too .
But it’s doesn’t mean they have to be bad mannered
To live in this world they too have to learn that somethings are not right .
If they kid is bright enough to know the price of a present he’s bright enough to have good manners.
I thought that Muddy, he seems quite sharp, i think he used the Telescope to see Swimmy coming.
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carol
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Derbyshire.
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Yesterday, 05:49 PM
10

Re: Autistic Children.

There are different degrees of autism as we all know. Josh wouldn't have any idea of the value of things.

He either likes something or he doesn't - and if he doesn't he just ignores it!!
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