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22-06-2019, 08:38 AM
671

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Well, I didn't see that coming! But I am Blond! LOL


Good one LD
Oops!
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22-06-2019, 10:24 AM
672

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
I tried to change my password to penis but they said it was too short.
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22-06-2019, 12:05 PM
673

Re: Let's have a laugh

Jihadi Jack's parents have been found guilty of funding terrorism by sending money to Syria for their son.
In their defence they said they refused to believe their son was involved in terrorism.
If that's the case, why the hell did they christen him Jihadi Jack?
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22-06-2019, 05:13 PM
674

Re: Let's have a laugh

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!
Here are a few reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back....Or that you could crawl in a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

- I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,'' How much do you charge for a shampoo and blow job?''

I turned around and went back out and never went back my husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

- I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good looking gentlemen who works at the store.

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said,'' I think I like playing with men's balls.''

- My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started laughing hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet- red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

- This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow and don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked;

' So Bob, where's the 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
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22-06-2019, 06:18 PM
675

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
Jihadi Jack's parents have been found guilty of funding terrorism by sending money to Syria for their son.
In their defence they said they refused to believe their son was involved in terrorism.
If that's the case, why the hell did they christen him Jihadi Jack?
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Perth Western Australia, 3rd house on the right
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23-06-2019, 10:26 AM
676

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!
Here are a few reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back....Or that you could crawl in a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

- I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,'' How much do you charge for a shampoo and blow job?''

I turned around and went back out and never went back my husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

- I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good looking gentlemen who works at the store.

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said,'' I think I like playing with men's balls.''

- My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started laughing hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet- red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

- This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow and don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked;

' So Bob, where's the 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Reminds me of a female friend who hated hearing swear words. When I told her I used to be a pheasant plucker, she managed to mix up a few letters and it became a pleasant #*$%@&.
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23-06-2019, 04:34 PM
677

Re: Let's have a laugh

Steppenwolf was an assumed name.
He was born Toby Wild.
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Primus1
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York
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23-06-2019, 04:56 PM
678

Re: Let's have a laugh

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds 
a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the 
circumcision.”
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Richmond
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Posts: 1,351
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23-06-2019, 06:24 PM
679

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->

Reminds me of a female friend who hated hearing swear words. When I told her I used to be a pheasant plucker, she managed to mix up a few letters and it became a pleasant #*$%@&.
LOL!!!! Mr. P !!!
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Richmond
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Posts: 1,351
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23-06-2019, 06:27 PM
680

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Primus1 ->
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds 
a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the 
circumcision.”
OUCH! Good one ! Primus
 
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