03-10-2020, 03:38 PM
103
Re: One liners and short jokes!
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big willy or a good memory .... I don't remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings ..."
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!
03-10-2020, 08:43 PM
104
Re: One liners and short jokes!
I bought a pair of shoe’s from a drug dealer, don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.A police officer stopped a suspicious looking character and he asks ‘ where were you between four and six’ , the man reply’s ‘ primary school’
03-10-2020, 08:45 PM
105
Re: One liners and short jokes!
A man was bitten by a stray rabid dog. His neighbour called on him and found him writing furiously. The neighbour said ‘ there’s no need to write your will, rabies can be cured’, the man says’ it’s not a will, I’m writing a list of people to bite’
22-11-2020, 07:54 PM
109
Re: One liners and short jokes!
To the thief who stole my glasses ... I will find you ... I have contacts!
9 months before I was born I went to a party with my Dad and left with my Mum!
Your fingers have fingertips but your toes don't have toetips.
Yet you can tiptoe, but not tipfinger! Just saying!
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
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