Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine
early each morning.


As always, Snow White stayed home doing her
domestic chores.


As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their
lunch and carry it to the mine.


One day as she arrived at the mine with their lunch, she saw
that there had been a terrible cave-in.

Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White
began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had
somehow survived.

'Hello...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me?
Hello!'


For a long while, there was no answer. Losing
hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is
anyone down there?'


Just as she was about to give up all hope, she
heard a faint voice from deep within the mine,
singing;
"ENGLAND FOR THE WORLD CUP"

Snow White fell to her knees and prayed,


'Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive.

Life after death
"do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"yes, sir," the new employee replied.
"well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother' s funeral, she stopped in to see you!"

palm sunday
it was palm sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for. "people held them over jesus' head as he walked by."
"wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed, "the one sunday i don't go, he shows up!"

children's sermon
one easter sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "what's in here?" "i know!" a little boy exclaimed. "pantyhose !! "

support a family
the prospective father-in-law asked, "young man, can you support a family?"
the surprised groom-to-be replied, "well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

first time ushers
a little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates.
When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "don't pay for me daddy i'm under five."

prayers :
The sunday school teacher asked, "now, johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?" "no sir," he replied, "we don't have to, my mom is a good cook!"

climb the walls
"oh, i sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
the grandmother was curious. "what trick is that?" she asked.
"i heard him tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit," the little boy answered.

The water pistol
when my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol... He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "i'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
mom smiled and then replied..... "i remember!!"

grandma's age
little johnny asked his grandma how old she was.
Grandma answered, "39 and holding."
johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "and how old would you be if you let go?"

Wow! Lucky you!

You were looking for your toupee?

Funny!!! which one were you???? LOL

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Heather and you’re losing some of your load.”
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says “Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s Winter in Michigan and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!”

I thought Marge had blue hair.

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Heather and you’re losing some of your load.”
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says “Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s Winter in Michigan and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!”

All these blonde jokes, eh?
Marge is a blonde... well, I call it mousy.