Re: Rehab Productions Presents...An Adventure.
Scene 5 The Battle Commences
The day of the Big Push dawns bright and clear.
The Squadron (the cast of thousands and an ice cream girl are keyed up and waiting. Longdogs eats a hearty breakfast of war-quality bacon and egg substitute in a very nice shade of green, which he prepares himself, and then strolls over to the hangar to inspect the aircraft.
'See you've done a grand job, 'Tpin' me old prawn cracker,' he says cheerfully to LAC Tpin 'Nothing but the best as usual.'
Tired out but at the same time completely knackered, Tpin nods appreciatively. 'Lord luv a duck Sir,' he says in his chirpy Cockney lingo, ' there'll be a lot more to do before this day's out I can tell you, no danger, know what I mean, eh?'
Longdogs pats Tpin on the head with the genuine affection that so often arises between Officers and chaps in times of shared troubles, 'Thanks, Tpin ,' he says, 'You know I depend on you and your old chinas. Thanks a lot'.
As Longdogs walks back to the Station's Ops. Room, Tpin fights back a tear from his elderly eye and calls out, 'Mind you take your lucky tea - strainer with you Sir, me old Linguini alla Tedesca.' (I don't know what it means, I read that off the back of a pasta packet,..good eh? Asda were doing a special deal on pasta last week)) He fears he might not see Flight Lieutenant ‘Buggles’ Longdog again ...... Oh no..is that the kiss of death for our intrepid hero?
When the Tannoy eventually barks out the command to scramble, the Squadron is galvanised to action. They climb to 15,000 feet in double quick time, their engines screaming, to find huge numbers of enemy aircraft coming in over the English Channel.
Rank upon rank of Dyson 770 bombers their filters droning their way steadily from northern France towards English dockyards. And from the flanks of every flight of bombers, whole squadrons of fighter 'planes, the deadly Messerchmitt 49,000Es, come bearing down on Longdogs flyers. 'Heavens to Betsy. What a right bugger's muddle,' Longdogs thinks to himself as he gives the order to break formation.
(Cue Music)
It's a dog - fight all right, with the confusion and noise of battle everywhere. As the stirring strains of the theme from 633 Squadron play through the British flyers headphones, they are interspersed by cries of 'Bandits at two minutes past seven, Red Leader', 'Watch your tail Sweetie '
Glancing over her left shoulder, Longdogs sees Sweetiepie Billabong take out sixteen 770s with one sustained burst of cannon fire and watches Cosmos Van Driver barrelling upwards in hot pursuit of her twelfth Messerschmitt, before disappearing into a cloud....never to be seen again...Then he spots the RedBaron....,Obergruppenführer..Twink Twinkenstein Von Strangleholder...
(will someone get Twink out of her dressing room, this is her big scene) coming straight at him out of the sun, her machine guns already blazing. 'Tally Ho, then, Twinky old chum,' he says to himself, ‘Long time, no see.'
End of Scene 5 Don’t you just hate it when Tv hosts do that?, gets you all worked up and they goto the commercial break.
tomorrow
Scene 6 Victory and the dirty bits promised in the previous scene. Will Cosmos return ( no bloody chance her cheque bounced)