Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

No matter how good you are on this Earth, there will always be those who are against you, for whatever reason. I've enough stress to contend with, so dont give them a thought .....

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

I cant really remember hating people as it does cause harm to yourself more than others. I have disliked people but I just ignore them if they
don't like me for whatever reason. Why would you want to be in that
persons company if they don't like you?
Nick someone told me once that the best way a relationship can work
for a long time is not only a give and take attitude but also not to be
an open book, which is something you seem to have mentioned in your
downgrading of yourself. Try thinking out of yourself and not going
inward all of the time. Joy is by being yourself with friends and family
who like you no matter what you are like. Try giving a bit and you reap
your rewards.

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Gosh ... I'm going to sound a horrible person saying this ....

I don't really dislike anyone. I see them as different than me ... but just think ... hey! Each to their own. Wouldn't the world be a boring place if we were all the same.

But hate ...
I've hated 2 or three people in my life. And I do mean hate.
I'd agree that nursing a grievance is also pretty damaging and harmful to yourself. It can eat away like a canker inside. So you have to let it go .. even if you can't forgive.

If I can't let it go ... rather than let it eat away at me ... I have got even.

That's the horrible bit.

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Looks like I'm the only one with a mental health problem on this thread
Love you all

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

I doubt it youngatart - I think we all wonder if we are liked or not. Most of us want to be accepted for what we are and some days it does seem as if everybody is at odds with us. Sometime we can be a little too sensitive and see more in something than is really there or meant. People do say things without thinking and it can hurt, but do they really know you - much of what we say to each other is superficial and not to be taken too seriously anyway, especially at work. I am not sure that people actually will be so against you that they hate you. Perhaps you need to have a bit more faith in yourself. It's not worth making yourself unhappy about stuff like this - we are all different and nobody is perfect, thank goodness.

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Nick - you're just a sensitive guy, nothing wrong with that ......
I'm surprised 'Buddhism' has not been of help to you thru the bad times .....

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Posted at the same time Rena, but I wonder why it is so important to some to be so liked by 'everybody' - aint gonna happen .... By being of that frame of mind, are you not trying to be everything to everybody and not really being yourself ....

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Having just re-read your original post youngatart I don't think you have a mental problem.

Nor do I hate you. I think you sound a sensitive person and have a questioning mind. Both good attributes I think.

Re: You prefer to hate or be hated?

Checking online Dictionaries I found this definition of Hatred: - intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury. b : extreme dislike or antipathy. c : loathing.

I personally believe that hate or hatred is pointless and I wouldn't waste any time getting myself all knotted-up thinking about anyone or anything that gives rise to that emotion in me so it's really up to you now isn't it?

Looking back over times and cases where I felt hatred against others or hate directed toward me I was unhappy with my situation but could do nothing myself to change anything because I'd tried but got nowhere.
I had to make the change.

If this is a work situation then I'm sorry but you have to re-examine yourself to ensure yourself that the cause, if directed towards you, was not your own doing in the first place.
If the hatred is FROM you towards others then you've got more work to do, looking at yourself and trying to see why you got to this stage.

It's really not healthy and can lead to psychosis. stevmk2