19-10-2015, 03:58 PM
1
Selfish or caring?
I was reading a thread on the Beeb page this morning about seniors and dating.A chap, a widower said his daughter would hate him to find someone to else.
The next person posted that the daughter was selfish.
I had a think and thought that it was possibly too soon for the daughter to cope with him finding someone as it had only been a year or so.
Then, I thought perhaps having been loved by two people and then only by one, the daughter didn't want to have that diluted by someone else.
Then I wondered if she was being protective of her dad.
Perhaps younger folk don't realise we need companionship in later life.
How do you see it?
19-10-2015, 04:05 PM
3
Re: Selfish or caring?
Perhaps there was some jealousy as well. Or possibly, the daughter did not want her dad to get taken in by false love just for the sake of security. It could be any of the above that you listed. And yes, everyone does need love and companionship no matter the age.
19-10-2015, 04:08 PM
4
Re: Selfish or caring?
Do we know how old the daughter is?Whilst I can understand, that grieving herself, she might view a step-mum as an unwanted replacement .... she has to consider that her dad might now feel an incomplete half of a whole and want companionship.
It'd be harsh to say she was selfish ... perhaps better to say just not appreciating how lost her dad might be feeling on his own.
19-10-2015, 04:25 PM
5
Re: Selfish or caring?
I think many younger people think older folks are more naive than they are and consequently worry they may be taken for a ride. So it's caring in a way but not helpful really as most older folk do have their faculties and can spot a chancer quite readily.
19-10-2015, 06:16 PM
7
Re: Selfish or caring?
Originally Posted by TessA
->
I was reading a thread on the Beeb page this morning about seniors and dating.A chap, a widower said his daughter would hate him to find someone else.
The next person posted that the daughter was selfish.
I had a think and thought that it was possibly too soon for the daughter to cope with him finding someone as it had only been a year or so.
Then, I thought perhaps having been loved by two people and then only by one, the daughter didn't want to have that diluted by someone else.
Then I wondered if she was being protective of her dad.
Perhaps younger folk don't realise we need companionship in later life.
How do you see it?
19-10-2015, 06:29 PM
8
Re: Selfish or caring?
My daughter told me many years ago that I shouldn't need a man in my life as I had friends , she would be offish towards me if I was dating , and not want to know , over the years I had a few nice guys and enjoyed times out with them , never anyone serious enough to want them to move in . We had a huge row once about a guy I was seeing and she didn't speak to me for a while saying I was "man mad" !I enjoy the company of a nice man , I'm independent and fun to be with , yet daughter seems not to understand me wanting a permanent love in my life .
I've no idea why , you'd think she would want me to be happy , but possibly she's seen the mistakes I've made in the past
Ps , I'm quite happy in my life even though no one else is around , but I still have hope
19-10-2015, 06:36 PM
9
Re: Selfish or caring?
I think that the only person who can judge what is right for them is the old person, but sadly, if it doesn't suit their families they will often rather do without the companionship than cause trouble. There are no right or wrong answers to this, because we are all different, but I have seen a number of older children ruin a parents relationship with another partner and then go back to their own lives and fail to make that parent feel less lonely.
19-10-2015, 06:39 PM
10
Re: Selfish or caring?
Originally Posted by Twink55
->
I think that the only person who can judge what is right for them is the old person, but sadly, if it doesn't suit their families they will often rather do without the companionship than cause trouble. There are no right or wrong answers to this, because we are all different, but I have seen a number of older children ruin a parents relationship with another partner and then go back to their own lives and fail to make that parent feel less lonely.
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