16-06-2016, 01:37 PM
392
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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I meant Wind, not Wind, and not Trapped wind.
So why not combine the two winds then you could time your own farts, when your stomach is all wound up take a look at the second hand on your watch and wait, who knows you might even match the World record held by a man from Chicago.
"In 1934 a stage performer Terry Bell Smell (his stage name) beat the previous record by 2 seconds, his recorded blockbuster lasted a whopping 15 seconds in front of a stage audience, thanks to the 5 tins of Bachelor’s wonderful beans he had beforehand, later on they banned the downing of beans before any contest, the contestants had to pass through a bean detecting cubicle before taking part, the result was the times went rapidly down and a five second fart is now considered a very high score” (courtesy of wiky waky woo oddball information library)
16-06-2016, 04:09 PM
393
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by Pug
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I'm about to go off-subject....grovelling apologies.Yesterday,having spent all night sorting transport for a close friend-he's just had intensive surgery to remove two cancerous tumours from his liver-I got home circa 10am and flopped on the bed fully clothed. Just under two hours later,phone rings-naturally I grab it,thinking it's him in trouble. No-it's a lady I know from a village near me. NO idea what she's yattering about as I'd been awake two full days..so when she said 'he' [I won't mention names] wanted to talk so she'd put it on speaker,I asked her to let him know I'd chat later as I needed some zeds. Just a short while later,as I was practising my snoring,I got another call. her again. She informed me 'he' was incandescent with rage at my attitude,had given me the finger-and had stomped off to their bedroom telling her I'm 'just a user'. [bear in mind here I have TWICE kept him alive in very bad circumstances] Then,I'm informed he's telling everyone how much the MacBook he got me for my birthday cost-and how effing ungrateful I am. Oh-really? Viking temper flares....MacBook is scoured,emptied,reset. Mouse thingy is shoved in bag with it and charger-I'm,DESPITE having slept just three hours in three days,on my way to his door. Which HE,Mr Musclemouth,Mr 6'5",27 stone hero,refuses to open...pretending he's not in. So I left the poxy machine with his neighbour-a decent cove,who was sat on his doorstep just chillin'-and asked him to ensure BOTH of those scum-sucking leeches remove my number from their phones. AND to inform him we WILL meet-this is a VERY sparcely populated area-and he can try his luck in public. 6'5" 28 stone musclemouth,v 5'10" 12 stone former 45 RMC nancyboy in pink stilettos.
With an audience. SURELY he won't back down. After all,what's to be scared of if you're his size? Other than being bloody certain I won't.
Apologies if this is a tad angry as a post-but I've just spent three days ferrying people in pain,distress and fear,to-and-from hospital for treatment/care. THIS crap hit the wrong nerve at the wrong time.
breathing in 1, 2 and 3 and breathing out 1, 2 and 3 whilst sitting in the lotus position or ideally on a lotus leaf!
sawadi kap
16-06-2016, 07:36 PM
394
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
This is the red lipped batfish, you’d never guess would you, found on the Galapagos Islands, this fish is actually a very bad swimmer, and uses its pectoral fins to walk on the bottom of the ocean. (Image credits: imgur)
It’s amazing some of the creatures who live on the Ocean floors, how would you like a smacker off this little lady, have you ever seen such a sour faced fish in all your life, it reminds me of me Aunt Greta when she came home one night after being stood up by a Sailor back in the 50’s, If you put a little scarf around it’s head it would have a striking resemblance to dear Greta.
I remember Greta getting dolled up for her dates, I was just a boy and was amazed at this brown stuff she used to have in a bottle, she would shake it violently then pour some out onto her hands and rub it into her lily white legs turning them into sun tanned film stars legs in seconds, another miracle! praise the lord! My they certainly had plenty of tricks up their sleeves to fool us poor eejits back then, you had to buy the whole package to find out the truth and then it was too late to do anything about it, “What happened to your lovely brown smooth legs dear?, I never knew women had to shave their legs?”
16-06-2016, 08:11 PM
396
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by Robert Junior 2
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Sorry you're so pi--ed off Pug, you can't change the way you are. Don't let this gentleman throw you off helping people.Salt of the earth that's what you are.
17-06-2016, 11:47 AM
398
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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Never thought I would find such an agreeable place, not sure that is acceptable.
That great philosopher Gumbuddha (no relation to our fella) summed it all up when he said “Great minds think alike and fools seldom differ”
17-06-2016, 02:58 PM
399
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by Jem
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I agree with you Spitty.That great philosopher Gumbuddha (no relation to our fella) summed it all up when he said “Great minds think alike and fools seldom differ”
Buddha said dismiss all hatred from the heart - do not dwell on the impurities of this world
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