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effingpot
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effingpot is offline
Hampshire, UK
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09-01-2021, 04:41 PM
111

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Before lockdown I was in this pub when the barman screamed "Anyone know CPR"?

I said "Hell I know the ENTIRE alphabet!".

Everyone laughed ... well everyone except this one guy!
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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09-01-2021, 09:10 PM
112

Re: One liners and short jokes!

I've just been fingered for a crime.

A bit harsh as I was hoping for just a caution.
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effingpot
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Hampshire, UK
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11-01-2021, 07:07 PM
113

Re: One liners and short jokes!

My wife and I have decided we don't want children.
We'll probably tell them over dinner this evening!
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effingpot
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effingpot is offline
Hampshire, UK
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 105
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11-01-2021, 07:33 PM
114

Re: One liners and short jokes!

I stopped at some traffic lights today, right next to an RAC van.
The driver was crying and talking to himself.
I thought "He's heading for a breakdown!"
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Penthouse in Essex overlooking the Thames.
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11-01-2021, 07:41 PM
115

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Some crackers there fellas keep them coming.
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effingpot
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effingpot is offline
Hampshire, UK
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Posts: 105
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11-01-2021, 07:43 PM
116

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Originally Posted by longfellow ->
Some crackers there fellas keep them coming.
Someone mention "crackers"? Don't get me going. I could do this all day

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11-01-2021, 09:41 PM
117

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Originally Posted by effingpot ->
My wife and I have decided we don't want children.
We'll probably tell them over dinner this evening!
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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12-01-2021, 05:17 PM
118

Re: One liners and short jokes!

I opened the front door to the gas man. He said
"I need to take a reading".
I said "why are you so out of breath?"
He said "Cos I've just done 100 meters"
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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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12-01-2021, 05:41 PM
119

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Originally Posted by Judd ->
I opened the front door to the gas man. He said
"I need to take a reading".
I said "why are you so out of breath?"
He said "Cos I've just done 100 meters"

Copied that one!
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effingpot
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effingpot is offline
Hampshire, UK
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 105
effingpot is male  effingpot has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
13-01-2021, 03:35 PM
120

Re: One liners and short jokes!

I lost my pizza cutter so I used a Bryan Adams CD.
It cuts like a knife!
 
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